


Guardian Bonding

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Consensual Dream Violence, Guardian Angel Castiel, Guardian Marking, M/M, Sam has Nightmares, Season 4 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-07 05:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 23,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5445005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A guardian angel is supposed to protect his charge from everything, above any other duties or activities.  For this reason, an angel is only supposed to be guardian to one human at a time.  The angel marks the human's soul, allowing him to keep better track of his charge and warning all other angels not to mess with this human without the angel's permission.</p><p>Castiel knew the rules, agreed with the rules, and had every intention of following the rules.  So when Heaven told him to mark Dean Winchester and ignore Sam, he didn't think twice about it.  Then he met the Winchesters.  It didn't take him long to realize that the Winchesters were a unit, that you couldn't work closely with one and ignore the other.  Meeting Dean had him considering breaking the rules and marking Sam as well, but Castiel hesitated.  Until he actually met Sam.</p><p>Breaking the rules has consequences...</p><p>Rated for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Guardian of Two Winchesters

Sam had gotten used to waking up from nightmares. After all, if Dean could be believed, he’d been doing it since he could talk, probably before. He was even used to waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to sleep again. He was not used to waking up to find an angel perched at the edge of his bed. “Castiel? What are you doing here?”

Castiel turned his head, looking vaguely surprised to see Sam awake. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know. Whatever you were dreaming four hours ago scared you badly enough for you to call out for me.”

Sam started with the easier question. “You’ve been here for four hours?”

“Yes. Your nightmare broke when I touched you to block it. I was just about to leave when it started again. After that happened twice more, I decided to stay until you had awakened.” Castiel’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Shouldn’t you still be asleep for another hour or two?”

“Huh, that would explain my dreams felt so… disjointed, this time,” Sam said, remembering the odd-even-for-dreams way they jumped around. “I guess when I should wake up depends on how you look at it, if I’d had the nightmares I was supposed to have I’d probably have been awake the past two or three hours. So, thank you for the extra sleep.”

“I see.” Castiel didn’t look like he understood, but that wasn’t unusual. “If I may ask, what were you dreaming about?”

“Hell,” Sam admitted, looking over to Dean’s bed to make sure his brother was still sleeping. “I… did some things, and ended up in Hell with my own personal torturer. But it was kinda weird… I mean, I don’t know what Hell is actually like, obviously. But there’s fire all around me and I’m freezing.”

That apparently got Castiel’s full attention. “This torturer. What can you remember about him?”

“Well, I know he favors his left hand for knives and razors but prefers his right for whips,” Sam joked. “I’ve tried to get a look at him, but when I do, it hurts. Like my eyes are going to explode. From the little I can see before I have to look away or go blind… it’s a weird thing to say about a demon, I know, but he’s beautiful. And sometimes he’ll talk to me, or sing, and…”

“And when he does, it’s the best music you’ve ever heard for the short time you can hear it?” Castiel guessed.

Sam nodded, somehow not surprised at the angel’s ability to guess. “Yeah, I only get a few seconds of it, but I want to hear it again, or for longer, or something.”

Castiel turned to fully face Sam, a hint of fear in his eyes. “There are some among my kind who would kill you right now. What you’re dreaming, it can’t be coincidence or the product of brain chemicals gone haywire. Even if Dean gave you every detail of his time in Hell, you couldn’t know this.”

Sam curled up as tightly as he could against the headboard. “What am I seeing?”

“Lucifer. His cage is the only cold place in Hell.” Castiel paused briefly. “That’s why he’s beautiful. He’s not a demon. He’s an archangel.”

Sam couldn’t stop the shiver. He supposed he couldn’t blame the angels for killing him for knowing the details of Lucifer’s cage, even if they were dreams. “What are you going to do to me?”

“That depends.” That was not helpful, especially given Castiel’s typically flat affect.

“On?”

“You.” Castiel studied Sam for a bit. “It would help me a great deal if you would allow me to go into your dreams, to see what it is you do to end up in the Cage. Or I can sit with you while you sleep, since my presence seems to keep these dreams away. Whatever else I do, I will try to work out why you’re having these dreams, and to watch over you so that I can warn you if you start down a dangerous path.”

“Thought you already warned me,” Sam said, uncurling just a little. “You working through Dean, Uriel after Samhain.”

Castiel’s eyes flashed, and Sam tightened his curl again. “Uriel came to you? What did he say to you? Did he threaten you or hurt you at all?”

“Uh…” Sam had not expected that. “He told me I’d failed your little test, and that if I disobeyed again or became more trouble than I was worth, I would probably find myself on the wrong side of a smiting. Then he told me that Dean remembers Hell.”

“If he comes to you again, don’t listen to him, call for me immediately. He had no business speaking to you at all, let alone making threats.” Castiel stopped, apparently just as surprised by the slight growl in his voice as Sam felt. When he spoke again, it was in a much calmer tone. “As far as I’m concerned, and my superiors, you did well. It was not a surprise or a disappointment that you would choose Dean’s life over your instructions. It’s what you do now, we believe, that will determine success or failure. That’s why I hadn’t come to speak to you about it yet.”

Sam tried to quell the flare of hope he felt at that. “Why would Uriel risk the test?”

“I certainly intend to find out,” Castiel promised. “Even if he truly didn’t understand the test, there isn’t an angel in Heaven who should be speaking to you without going through me. Uriel should know that better than any since he was there when I marked you mine.”

“Huh? What does that mean, you marked me as yours?”

“It means that I placed a mark on your soul that tells any angel who sees you that you are under my protection, and that calls to me if you need me. It’s the mark a guardian angel places on their charge.”

That didn’t make much sense. “I thought you were Dean’s guardian angel.”

“I am,” Castiel said. “I marked his soul when I raised him from perdition.”

“You can have more than one mark?”

“Ordinarily, no, to prevent having to choose if both call for you at the same time,” Castiel admitted. That’s what Sam had thought. So… “However, in your case, taking you as a second charge is very unlikely to conflict with Dean, and may in fact alert me to a threat to him before he calls. The two of you care far more about danger to the other than danger to yourselves.” True enough, Sam had to admit. “And then, of course, you and Dean are soulmates, so if your need were great enough I would likely hear your call through his soul anyway.”

“Okay, what the hell does _that_ mean? Soulmates?” Because Sam sure hoped it wasn’t what it sounded like.

“It means that your soul and Dean’s are bonded. Assuming neither of you makes any more deals, when you die, you will be together in Heaven. Most people are alone in their Heavens, but you and Dean are a special case.”

Sam relaxed. “So nothing like how the word’s used on Earth, then.”

“In your case, no, your souls bonded when your brother carried you out of the fire.” Well, that made sense. “But the most common way such bonds are formed are by the work of a cupid.”

“Cupids are an actual thing?” Sam asked, cursing his upbringing that the next question would probably be asking if and how to hunt them.

“They’re cherubs, third class. A lower order of angels.” That kind of reassured Sam. At least he had some idea how to hunt an angel. “Their job is to create matches that lead to an outcome desired by Heaven. In some cases, not all, it’s more than just love that forms.”

“Huh.” Sam had a million more questions, but he figured he was probably already trying Castiel’s patience. Back on… well, _more on_ topic, anyway. “If you’d hear me through Dean anyway, why take the risk of marking me too?”

“I first considered the idea when I pulled Dean from Hell and realized how important you were to him,” Castiel said. “But then I learned of what you and Ruby were doing. I decided against it, at least for the time being. Then I met you.”

“When you promptly dismissed me as the boy with the demon blood,” Sam said. “So…”

“That was not intended as a dismissal,” Castiel said. “For one thing, I had already marked you by then. You have demon blood within you, but that’s not entirely your fault. Once you’ve burned off Ruby’s poison, it will no longer be your fault at all.”

“You knew about Ruby’s blood?” Sam interrupted, startled. “Why didn’t you tell Dean?”

“Either you would stop drinking the blood when Dean stopped you from using your powers, in which case it would only add to the strain between the two of you, or you wouldn’t – in which case you were farther along that road than we’d believed, which we would need to know. Would you prefer I had told him?”

Sam considered that. “I don’t know. I can’t shake the feeling that somehow he’s gonna find out anyway, but he was so pissed about the powers, I don’t know what he’d have done if he knew about the blood.”

“Then it is our secret,” Castiel said. “I may not understand, but though you may be known in Heaven as the boy with the demon blood, I can’t see you as any less a good man than your brother. In Heaven, he is called the Righteous Man.”

“What’s not to understand?” Sam asked. He tried. So hard.

“Very few people can overcome the taint of demon blood given as an infant, especially once made aware of what’s happened to them,” Castiel said. “You saw that with Azazel’s cauldron, with Ava and Jake in particular. You not only withstood its effect despite lacking a parent’s guidance, you came out of that cauldron a better man than you went in. I wish you could have seen the look on certain angels’ faces when you came to Heaven after your death at Cold Oak.”

“Dean was a great…”

Castiel cut him off. “Dean should never have had to be your parent.”

“Now that I’ll agree with,” Sam said. They fell silent for a bit, and Sam returned to his earlier worries. “So… what are you going to do to me?”

“Hmm?”

“You said some angels would kill me,” Sam reminded him. “What are you gonna do?”

“Nothing you won’t give me permission to. Your dreams are no more your fault than Azazel’s blood. I’m quite confident there’s a very good explanation for how you end up in the Cage in your dreams. If you’ll allow me, next time you have these dreams, I’d like to come in and watch to see what I can learn that you might miss or not understand. Any time you wish for a peaceful sleep, I’m willing to come sit with you, or block you from dreaming at all.”

“You’ve gotta have better things to do than sit with me all night to ward off some bad dreams,” Sam protested. “But if you wanna come watch, you can. I can’t say I’d mind getting a better understanding of them. I just hope seeing them doesn’t change your mind about letting me live. Dean wouldn’t take it well if you killed me.”

Castiel actually smiled at that, just a bit. “No, he wouldn’t. But I won’t kill you for dreams. It’s better to work to prevent them from becoming more than that. If we can’t, if it does become necessary to kill you, I will do it myself as quickly and painlessly as possible, you have my word.” That was… Sam decided to take that as well-meant reassurance. “As for having better things to do… not really. Protecting my charges is the most important thing.”

“From demons or whatever, not from bad dreams,” Sam argued.

Castiel raised an eyebrow. “If the dreams are causing you to call out for me, then I need to protect you from them.”

“Okay, well, you know your job better than I do,” Sam said. “I don’t mind you being here, but Dean will probably get mad if he catches you.”

“Most likely,” Castiel said. “Sometimes it seems to me that no matter what I do, Dean will get mad at me. I feel quite certain that if he knew you were having nightmares that I could stop and wasn’t, he would be just as mad.”

Sam couldn’t argue with that. “Speaking of Dean, why haven’t we woken him?”

“He can’t hear us,” Castiel said. “He is beginning to wake, though. I should go.”


	2. Brother Bonding Moment

Later that day, as Dean drove the Impala down some nameless stretch of two-lane highway in the middle of nowhere, Sam turned down the radio. “Are you still mad at me for using my powers against Samhain?”

“Can’t say I’m upset about still breathin’, but given that Cas threw me back in time to stop you doing that? Yeah,” Dean said.

Fair enough, really. “Well, Castiel said it wasn’t actually that big a deal, that the angels expected it and as long as I don’t decide that, well, I did it once so I may as well just start going powers again after all, he’s not going to yell at me.”

Dean looked over, eyebrows raised. “Thought you said Uriel said he’d smite you.”

“Apparently, Uriel isn’t supposed to talk to me at all,” Sam said. “Castiel was kinda pissed when I told him.”

“Huh.” Dean looked over again, this time with concern. “When’d you talk to Cas, anyway? Was he a dick about it?”

“This morning, I woke up from a nightmare and he was there.” He hadn’t really thought much about it at the time, but Castiel had been kind of different. “He was actually not bad at all. Answered all of my questions, at least all the ones I asked, and you know how I can get with those. He even offered to help with some of these nightmares.”

“So why was he such a dick last time?” Dean asked.

Sam didn’t have a good answer for that. “Social awkwardness? Uriel’s bad influence? He wasn’t any happier about smiting the town than we were and took it out on me?”

Dean snorted, but there was nothing but seriousness and love in his voice as he asked, “So… where’s that leave you in terms of faith?”

“Uriel’s still a dick and some bad dreams would put me on Heaven’s hit list if the wrong angels knew about them,” Sam said. “Kind of don’t have faith in angels anymore. God, maybe, and Castiel, yes.”

“You gonna keep praying?” Dean asked.

Good question, Sam realized. “I don’t know. Depends who can hear them, which I need to ask Castiel about.” He studied Dean for a bit, deciding that if he was gonna do this, he should probably do this now. “Uriel did say one other thing. He told me you remember Hell.”

“And you’re gonna believe Junkless?” Dean snapped.

“I’m going to believe Castiel. He confirmed it.” He took a steadying breath. “Dean, I know you don’t want to talk about it, although you know I’m here for you if you ever decide you do. But please, stop lying to me about it.”

“Look who’s talking,” Dean said. “Ruby? Powers?”

“And I’ll stop lying about that,” Sam promised. “Ask whatever you want. I’ll either refuse to answer or tell you the truth.”

He hadn’t exactly meant now, but he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised when Dean started in. “Okay. Why would you listen to her after she lied to you about being able to get me out of my deal?”

“She worked with me, instead of giving me orders. That body she’s in now, coma patient. Brain dead. Because I refused to work with her if she was hijacking someone’s life.” That wouldn’t be good enough for Dean and Sam knew it, but he did want Dean to know that. “She saved my life. She dragged me out of the shithole I’d dug for myself, gave me a purpose and a reason to live even if I couldn’t get you back.”

“What, revenge? Yeah. Really good reason to live there, Sammy.” Dean shook his head. “You were supposed to…”

“Keep hunting, get married, have kids, grow old? Can’t do it without you,” Sam said with absolutely no trace of anything but certainty in his voice. “The road I was on before Ruby, I’d’ve been dead in two months, three at the outside. I should’ve lived a long happy life without you? Well, you should’ve lived one without me. At least you didn’t know for a fact that I was in Hell.” Cheap shot? Maybe, but it was true. “Only way either of us makes it to the rocking chair on the porch is if the other one’s in the next chair over, and you know it.”

“Still,” Dean said, acknowledging the point without having to admit Sam was right. “ _Ruby?_ ”

“They didn’t send me an angel, Dean,” Sam pointed out. “I love Bobby, and he tried, but he couldn’t save me because I wouldn’t let him. Ruby could. Now you’re back. I still wanna gank Lilith for taking my big brother from me, but we’ve got seals to save and an Apocalypse to avert. I’ll follow you and Castiel.”


	3. Confronting Uriel

“Uriel.”

“Castiel?” The other angel sounded genuinely surprised to see him. Good. “Have we received new orders?”

“No. I’m here about Sam Winchester.” At that, Uriel went on guard. Even better. “Why did you interfere with him?”

“The test was over, he failed. I thought I would spare you the difficult situation of telling your… charge… of the danger he was in.” If Castiel had sounded like that when he first spoke to Sam, he suddenly understood why Sam had felt he’d been treated dismissively.

“The test was not over,” Castiel corrected. “No one who has studied the Winchesters or who knows anything of their bond could have believed Sam would not use his powers to save his brother. Even before he knew he had any kind of powers, if Dean’s life was threatened, Sam could call upon them to save him. The test for Sam was what he would do after, a test now compromised.”

It almost sounded genuinely sorry when Uriel said, “I didn’t know. I don’t know anything more than absolutely necessary about the boy with the demon blood.”

And, really, that was the problem, wasn't it. “If you are to continue working with me, then I suggest you learn. I don’t know why Zachariah insists on you being part of this. Rebecca doesn’t think I need the help.”

“Dissension among our superiors is none of our concern, Castiel,” Uriel said.

“No. But were I to report you for ignorantly interfering with a test by knowingly interfering with a human marked as under my protection, both you and Zachariah would find yourselves in an uncomfortable position.” Castiel had to admit, the thought of making Zachariah eat some crow was very tempting, but he didn’t want to sell out his brother in the mix. Even if his brother was the one who had erred.

Uriel just smirked. “Is it known that you’ve claimed two humans at once?”

“Of course. I reported it to Rebecca when I reported the rest of the mission. She’s not pleased, but when I explained my reasoning, she acknowledged that I had every right to do so, regardless of the consequences. Sam knows to call for me if you ever try such a thing again. I suggest you confess yourself to Zachariah, but out of respect for our long comradeship, I will not report you – this time. Interfere with my human again, either of them, and you will face consequences.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm still torn as to whether I should have left this in or cut it. This is pretty much the ONLY part from Castiel's POV, so it feels kind of weird, but Cas telling off Uriel is something I love so much.
> 
> Canon Rebecca, for anyone who doesn't remember, was the leader of the Penitents who chose to stay out of the Angel War on Earth in season 9. I'd like to say I chose her on purpose, because she seems like the kind of angel who would make a good superior officer for Castiel, but the truth is that I just stuck a name in for the purposes of keeping the writing going and only remembered who Rebecca was when I went to look her up - by which point I didn't want to change the character name.


	4. A Better Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Sam discuss the nightmares Sam's been having, among other things.

Sam was somewhat surprised to see Castiel when he woke up suddenly from the nightmare, but recovered quickly. “Were you in there?”

“Yes. I’m sure you have questions.” Castiel settled on the edge of the bed as he had the night before.

Sam laughed a little. “You too, probably.”

“Yes. Would you like to go first?” Cas asked.

“Okay, um…” Sam tried to organize his thinking quickly. “I know Ruby, and Lilith, although in a different vessel. Who’s Alastair?”

“Hell’s chief torturer. He’s the best they have. Most likely, you’re so interested in killing him because Dean talked to you about Hell.” Sam’s eyes went wide. “I won’t give any specifics, but Alastair took a personal interest in Dean’s torture.”

“Okay, yeah, I can see that. Killing monsters who hurt Dean is among my sins,” Sam said. Alastair was now second on the hit list. Right after Lilith.

Castiel shook his head. “Killing Alastair would not be a sin, it would be a service to Heaven. Drinking the demon blood to get strong enough, that is. Do you have any idea why you would go back to that?”

“Either something’s happened and I’m back using it regularly, or Alastair has Dean and I don’t have any other way of saving him. The ‘something’s happened’ is probably Dean-related, too.” Sam remembered something about that dream. “It didn’t happen this time, but sometimes, when I come in, he’s doing something to you. Kind of like… an exorcism? Of course I didn’t recognize you, but now I know.”

“There are spells to force an angel out of their vessel and back to Heaven. Like an exorcism, it works on any angel in earshot.” Castiel only hesitated a little bit. “So if I teach you, will you promise to use it only if necessary?”

What in the world was Sam supposed to do with Cas offering to teach him something so dangerous to him? “Is there a reason I would ever need to use it?”

“Unlikely. But there is currently something of a rift in Heaven, and if it becomes worse, you would possibly become targeted despite my protection – or even because of it.” Castiel produced a piece of paper, writing something out, and gave it to Sam. Sam quickly read it over – Latin, very similar to an exorcism except calling on the infernal. “Share that with Dean if you like, but I ask you to keep it secret otherwise.”

“Thanks,” Sam said, still disbelieving. “When I’m drinking that demon and Dean sees it, there’s a woman and a little girl, and sometimes you.”

“I saw them – the woman and girl are my vessel’s wife and daughter.” That was something Sam didn’t want to think too hard about. He knew, of course, that Cas had a vessel that had a person in there, but actually thinking about that person was uncomfortable. “As the scene was about to change, though, the girl changed as though I was taking possession of her. I didn’t understand that and was hoping you did.”

“Sorry, that’s as far as I’ve ever seen, and I didn’t notice the change in the girl at all. That would explain why you seemed so different, though, if I’m seeing your vessel without you for some reason.”

“I don’t know why I would leave Jimmy before this was over, but I suppose it’s possible. Perhaps I was exorcised.” Castiel thought for a bit. “That room you escape from, where is that and why would you be chained there?”

“Bobby built a panic room after Dean died. I’m guessing Dean threw me in there after he caught me drinking blood.” It seemed like the most logical explanation. “What I can’t explain at all is how I escape. No demon could touch that room, your people would be more likely to seal me in harder, wouldn’t they?”

Castiel shrugged. “A rogue angel perhaps. Or if this rift gets worse. It’s hard to say, but I wouldn’t rule out angelic interference.”

That surprised Sam, but he didn’t want to dwell on it. “Killing Lilith should stop her breaking seals, shouldn’t it? But…”

“You kill her and Lucifer’s cage opens. I saw,” Castiel finished. “I’m afraid I have no answer for you on that. I’ll try to find something more specific about the last seal. All I know is that Lilith must be the one to open it. Have you seen anything earlier in the part where you kill the screaming woman?”

Sam closed his eyes against the guilt that was already taking hold of him, even though it was just a dream. “Cindy. Not much. I know I was torn, I didn’t want to do it, but I heard something on my cell phone that broke me. I’ve never been able to hear what’s on there.”

“What could break you like that?” Cas asked.

“I don’t know,” Sam said. “Dean dying is the only thing I can think of.”

Castiel nodded. “I’m sure more questions will occur to me. For now, though, the only ones I can think of, you have no way of answering.”

“Like what?” Sam asked, genuinely curious.

“If you free Lucifer, why is he in the Cage torturing you instead of dead or walking the Earth?” Castiel asked.

“Good question. I’ve wondered that myself,” Sam said. “I guess I’m in there because of what I did, and then freeing him…”

“No. When you’re in there, it was your choice to go.” Sam stared blankly at Cas. That didn’t make any sense at all. “It had to be, because your soul is pure and worthy of Heaven. And then there’s Dean and me giving you an advantage at attaining salvation.”

“You?”

Castiel’s gaze wavered, eventually dropping to stare at the bed. “Since I took you under my protection, made you an official part of this quest to protect the seals along with Dean.”

“Oh, I see. If Heaven calls on you to do a job for them, Heaven’s kinda part of the reward for doing it?” Castiel nodded, still not looking back up. “I just… why would I choose to go to… some sort of deal for Dean.”

“It’s the only thing I can think of,” Cas agreed.

“Wow, okay. I think I’m done for now.” Sam started to lay back down, but sat back up as a memory came back. “Wait, actually, there was something else I wanted to ask you.”

Castiel finally looked back to Sam. “Go ahead.”

“When we pray, who hears it?”

Clearly Cas had not been expecting that, but he recovered quickly. “It depends on who you pray to. Undirected prayer or prayer directed to God, Jesus, or Mary goes to a team who monitor and assign if necessary. If you pray to a saint, there are other angels who act as intermediaries, passing along what needs to be. Prayer directed to a specific angel can only be heard by that angel and God. There are cases where a human is given a specific angel to hear all prayer, orders from on high. Hearing your prayers and those of your brother has been my responsibility since the two of you were children – a bit odd, it’s extremely rare for a soldier to be assigned such a task. But I suppose they knew that I would become your guardian, so I might as well get used to the two of you.”

“So, if I pray…”

“I will hear it. If you want to be certain no one else is listening in, direct your prayer to me. It won’t block God, there’s no way to stop God from hearing a prayer, but no other angel will be able to eavesdrop.”

That was a huge relief, really. “Is there some sort of invocation to direct prayer?”

“All you have to do is say my name. Or think of me, if the prayer is nonverbal.”

“Awesome.” That was easy enough. There was another silence. “What’s the… never mind, it’s not really my business and not your job to deal with my curiosity.”

For some reason, Castiel seemed to find that amusing. “It took an abnormally long time for the angels to figure out I was meant for a soldier. As a fledgling, I spent all my time asking questions or exploring and observing. I drove the mentors to distraction, I’m certain. Your curiosity may not be part of my job, but as a fellow questioner, I can sympathize. If I’m not needed elsewhere, I am perfectly happy to answer your questions, if I can. There may be some I cannot answer, either because I don’t know or because I’m not allowed.”

Sam laughed at that. He was starting to seriously like the angel. “What’s the rift in Heaven about?”

“A disagreement between Michael and Raphael. Usually the two are in harmony, but Raphael thinks we should allow Lilith to break the seals, while Michael would prefer that we not allow the Apocalypse to happen.” That… was not what Sam had been expecting. Although now that he was thinking about it, from the angels’ perspective, the Apocalypse wouldn’t be such a bad thing – as long as they won. “Normally, when two of the archangels disagree, we look to the third to judge, but Gabriel disappeared when Michael tried to call him back to Heaven after living on Earth for a millennium and a half. Nobody believes we should consult Lucifer, and God has left the angels to rule themselves for some time now, so we have dissent.”

“I take it you’re on Michael’s side,” Sam said. “Helping us protect the seals and all.”

“Not exactly,” Castiel said, and Sam found himself once again surprised. “I’m on your side – humanity in general, not you specifically, although I suppose that too. Since humanity’s greatest gift is free will, averting the Apocalypse is what’s best for you, so I support Michael’s efforts but for very different reasons.”

“Why does Michael want to stop the Apocalypse, then?” Sam asked.

“If Lucifer is freed, he and Michael will have to fight to the death this time. It’s not that Michael fears losing or dying, but…” Castiel trailed off for a bit, lost in a memory. “Before Lucifer rebelled, he and Michael were very much like you and Dean. If Dean faced a choice between keeping you permanently imprisoned and killing you, which do you think he’d choose?” Dean would choose just about anything over killing his brother, and Sam knew it. “Michael is terribly lonely, but at least he knows Lucifer is alive.”

“So what about Raphael?”

“He…” Castiel seemed to hesitate before deciding on, “does not care for humans to begin with, and he doesn’t believe God intends to come back and take over again. After the Apocalypse, win or lose, the angels no longer have to manage wayward humans. He believes Michael will win and there will be paradise on Earth, but even if Lucifer wins and it’s Hell, the angels don’t have to bother with it.”

Sam snorted. “Let me guess, Uriel’s a big fan of Raphael.”

“Yes, unfortunately,” Castiel said. “My immediate superior, Rebecca, believes I can do this job alone, that I don’t need help. However, one of her colleagues, Zachariah, insisted that Uriel be permanently assigned as my assistant. Rebecca can’t refuse, and their superiors won’t intervene, so I’m stuck with Uriel. He and I have served together many times over the millennia, and I highly respect him and consider him a brother-in-arms, but this is not the sort of assignment he is well-suited for.”

Sam’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “If he thinks the Apocalypse should happen, why should anyone trust him to protect the seals?”

“Because, like me, he is a soldier and must obey my orders, since this is my mission, and those of Rebecca. Should he be caught sabotaging my efforts, it would cause problems for him, Zachariah, and potentially higher up the chain of command,” Castiel said, and that did make sense. “Especially since I’ve already given him a stern warning, so he knows that I will not overlook further interference.”

“Further?”

“I had a word with him after I left you yesterday morning. He didn’t understand the trial, because he knows as little about you as he possibly can. I’m not going to make trouble over it, giving him one chance for the sake of our long years of service together, but if he does anything else…”

“Oh.” Sam let out a huge, involuntary yawn. “I’m sorry, Castiel, this isn’t boring at all, I just need sleep. I promise.”

“There’s no need to be sorry. You can’t have been asleep more than an hour or two,” Castiel said. “Shall I stay to ward off the nightmares?”

“If you want to, I’m certainly not going to complain about having a peaceful rest,” Sam said as he settled back against the pillow. As he drifted off, he could feel Castiel pulling the blanket back over him. The gesture was unexpected, but it felt kind of nice.

 

When Sam woke up, it was to find Castiel still on his bed, having what looked to be a heated argument with Dean. “Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“You said he couldn’t hear us so we wouldn’t wake him up!” Dean snapped.

Sam rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t. I woke up on my own. What’s going on?”

“Cas is creeping on you, that’s what,” Dean said.

Cas let out a somewhat irritated sigh. “I am helping…”

“ _You_ shut up,” Dean snarled.

Sam rolled his eyes. “He’s helping me sleep. Don’t try and tell me you didn’t know about the nightmares I’ve been having, you always know. If Cas stays near me, they don’t come. It’s not creepy if he tells me he’s here and I give him permission to stay.”

It didn’t appease Dean. “It kinda is, because I’m here too.”

“And I pay no more attention to you than I would if I were on the other side of the world,” Castiel said.

“Dean, if Castiel could help me sleep and wasn’t, you’d be just as pissed, so cram it. He’s not gonna do anything to you, and if I’m rested, I’ll be better able to watch your back.”

“That’s…” Dean cut off as Castiel disappeared suddenly, looking to Sam with a what-the-hell expression. Sam just shrugged. He certainly didn’t know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angel lore is mostly made up, hope it makes sense!


	5. Cas's Mission is Assigned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel returns after running into a fight he couldn't handle. Sam does what he can to help. Despite his injuries, Zachariah gives Castiel a very important task - find a woman who can hear the angels.

Castiel returned that night, and Sam jumped up in alarm when he saw the state the angel was in. He was bleeding in several places, and could barely stand. “What the hell happened to you?” He wrapped an arm around Cas’s back and helped him to sit on the bed.

“I was attacked.” No shit, Sam felt like saying, but he held his tongue. He’d never seen Cas like this. “I was sent to investigate the status of a seal and found Alastair waiting for me. I managed to escape, but it was difficult.”

Dean had gone pale at the mention of Alastair. “Why’d you come here instead of going to Heaven? Me and Sam don’t know what to do to help you, and I don’t want Alastair anywhere near Sammy.”

“I’m not incompetent, Dean,” Cas snapped. “I’d lost Alastair before I came here. I don’t want Alastair near Sam either, nor you. As for Heaven, I have concerns. This task was not given by Rebecca, and Elijah may have known Alastair would be there. I don’t know where his loyalties lie. I’ll recover, but I came to ask Sam for help.”

“Why Sam?” Dean asked.

Cas glared at him. “Because I considered what would happen if I came to you and you agreed. Sam, if this was a plot of Raphael’s followers, my communication with Heaven is most likely being monitored. But a human’s directed prayer…”

“Can’t be intercepted,” Sam filled in, catching on quickly. “Rebecca?”

Castiel nodded. “Either her or Rachel. Tell her I was sent to investigate the seal at Raleigh and was ambushed by Alastair. I am injured and will remain on Earth until my wings are stronger.” Sam got a chair and pulled it up, head bowed to whisper prayers to both Rachel and Rebecca.

“You stayin’ with us tonight?” Dean asked.

“That will depend on Sam,” Castiel said, glancing over. “If I stay, it will be more awkward for him than usual.”

Dean raised a skeptical eyebrow. “How?”

Castiel didn’t answer, so Sam finished his prayers. With the last one, the angel got an odd look on his face. “I’m right here, Sam.”

Sam looked up with a grin on his face. “I know. Just… felt more like a prayer than something to say out loud.” He shot a glance at Dean.

“I see,” Castiel said, though he clearly didn’t. “Sam, if I stay here, I’ll be affecting your dreams more than usual. I can’t pull my wings in all the way because they’re too badly damaged. A human who sleeps in the shelter of an angel’s wings will dream of that angel. I don’t know what you’ll dream, but it could be awkward for you. The choice is yours.”

Sam pretended to consider. “Hmm… suffer through nightmares of Hell, or dream about Castiel. I don’t know. Dean, what do you think?”

“I think the two of you should leave me out of your weirdness. But I would literally rather dream of anything else than Hell.” Dean grabbed his wallet and his jacket. “I’m out to find a bar, want me to bring you something, Sam?”

Sam shook his head. “I’m planning on being asleep by the time you’d be looking to come back, Dean. I’ll run across the street and grab something, just go on.”

Dean looked suspiciously at Sam, but nodded and left. Sam turned back to Castiel. “Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?”

“Not that can actually heal me, but if you’ll talk to me, it will at least keep me distracted,” Cas said. “What are you and Dean doing here?”

“Three drownings in a week, all men, all related to each other,” Sam said, reaching for the files on instinct. “All good swimmers according to family. We think it’s a spirit, but we don’t really have anything to go on. First thing tomorrow, I’m headed to the library to dig through town records to check out the family history, and Dean’s gonna go check out the river.” Sam grabbed his own wallet. “I know the answer’s probably no, but do you want me to get you something while I’m getting myself some food?”

“No, thank you.”

Sam took off, returning ten minutes later with a burrito and a bag of chips. “If I hadn’t come unexpectedly, would you have gone with Dean?” Cas asked as Sam microwaved the burrito.

“Maybe?” Sam shrugged. “I wasn’t really wanting to, but Dean can be persuasive – especially when he thinks I’m not eating enough. I wouldn’t be surprised if he brings me food in spite of me promising to eat.”

“Why?”

“Because he won’t believe I actually went out to get food,” Sam admitted. “We’ve got a fridge, whatever he brings me will keep a day or two.”

Castiel made his I don’t understand face. “Why would he not trust you to eat?”

Sam retrieved his burrito and returned to his chair beside Cas. “Part older brother concern, part I do forget to eat sometimes when I’ve got something else I’m more interested in. If you weren’t here and I didn’t go with him I may well have not eaten tonight.”

“Me being here makes a difference?” Castiel asked with a befuddled head tilt.

“Yeah, I don’t want you worrying about me, whether it’s because of the food or because I’m lying to Dean,” Sam admitted. “You’ve got enough real stuff to worry about. Who’s Rachel?”

“A soldier in another garrison, one who is utterly devoted to Michael,” Castiel said. “She’ll get the message to anybody who needs to know, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she confronted Elijah herself. We’ve had our disagreements, but Rachel is a good friend. I trust her completely. One thing she does not disagree with me about is you.”

“Me? What about me?” Why was Cas discussing him with other angels anyway?

“She agrees that you are no more inherently evil than any other human. That while, technically, you are an abomination because of what Azazel did to you, you don’t act like one or deserve to be treated as one.” Castiel almost looked apologetic at having to say that. “As I said, she’s my friend, she knows the high regard I have for you. Therefore she wouldn’t block out your prayer just because of the source.”

“I…” Sam blinked. “You can do that? Block out a human’s prayer?”

“I cannot block you or Dean. I was specifically assigned to hear your prayers, and I am your guardian.” Not Sam’s point, but good to know, really. He was just curious. “But yes, in general, angels can block out prayers. Uriel, for example, blocks out all prayers.”

“What a surprise,” Sam said dryly.

“Perhaps,” Cas agreed. “More surprising is that anyone bothers to pray to him.”

Sam couldn’t help the chuckle. “Well, his name’s pretty well-known for some reason, but not very many people know he’s a great big dick.”

 

_Sam walked along the beach, occasionally stopping to pick up a shell or a rock. Castiel walked beside him, peering curiously at the things Sam picked up, but never picking anything up himself. As the sun set, the pair slowed and eventually came to a stop. Castiel reached out, taking Sam’s hand as they watched the sun’s light disappear over the ocean. Sam turned away, pointing out the first stars in the east._

_“I believe humans have a custom of wishing upon the first stars,” Cas said. “What do you wish for, Sam?”_

_Sam thought for a bit, looking for a particularly bright star to address. “I wish I had an angel to walk along a beach at sunset with, to watch the stars with, to love and to be loved by.” He dropped his gaze, smiling sappily at Castiel. “What do you wish for?”_

_“My wish is simple,” Castiel said, reaching up with his free hand to pull Sam’s face a little closer. Sam moved willingly, bending down as the angel stretched up to kiss him. “I got my wish,” he said as Sam pulled back to breathe._

_“So did I,” Sam said, wrapping his free hand around the back of Castiel’s neck._

 

Sam woke up, startled by both the dream and by how long it had lasted. Castiel turned to look at him, face even more inscrutable than usual. “Good dream or bad?”

“Good, but…” Sam didn’t know what to say here. “Surprising. I was not expecting that, but I’m not gonna complain.”

“May I ask what you dreamt?” Cas asked, still hiding any trace of reaction behind angelic impassiveness.

“I, uh…” Telling Cas about this would be awkward, but then again, he supposed Cas did have the right to know. He checked to make sure Dean was still asleep. He did not want to deal with the inevitable teasing. “I don’t see why not, it could be a little awkward though.”

Castiel gave a faint smile. “More awkward than dreaming it in the first place? It’s my fault you had to deal with it, I don’t mind taking my share of the awkwardness that results.”

“Fair enough,” Sam agreed. “We were… on a date, I think. On the beach. And we both made wishes on the stars and then made them come true by kissing each other.”

Castiel looked a little surprised and somewhat pleased. “Thank you, Sam.”

“For?”

“Thank you for the opportunity to make up for a poorly-handled first meeting. Your dream indicates a high regard for me. It may not be literal, dreams often take turns for metaphorical or fanciful, but it could be.”

“That doesn’t bother you? That it might be?” Sam asked, feeling a little awkward.

Cas just gave the faint smile again. “I can certainly think of many worse things than a good man wishing to kiss me. Can’t you?”

“I guess so, if you think of it that way,” Sam said, appreciating the perspective. “It’s just a lot of people would find it weird or awkward.”

“Fortunately for you, it’s me. I don’t mind a bit.” Castiel looked over to the other bed, where Dean was still snoring. “You were correct, your brother brought you a salad and a chicken wrap.”

“He brought me a salad? That was nice of him. Usually he gets me a burger or something.” Sam pulled himself the rest of the way up. “How are you?”

Cas considered for a bit. “Stronger, but still in a great deal of pain. There’s still not anything you can do, though.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I could.”

Cas looked like he wanted to say something, but his entire posture changed suddenly. “Sam, cover your ears.” Sam obeyed quickly while the room started shaking, waiting until Castiel indicated it was safe to come back. “I was able to shield Dean, but I couldn’t protect you both. I’m sorry. Zachariah felt the need to inform me that they would look into my attack, and in the meantime, I’m to look for a woman who can hear the angels’ communications. Anna Milton.”

“Are you okay for this?” Sam asked. “I mean, your wings being injured… can you fly?”

Cas sighed. “It’s painful, but yes, I’ll manage. It will delay my ability to return to Heaven, but this must be done. It’s unlikely that Alastair being on Earth at the same time Anna has started to hear the angels’ communications is by coincidence. Alastair prefers Hell to Earth, more fitting for his work, and he is one of the most powerful demons.”

“You be careful, then,” Sam said. “I’ll… praying for you is probably a little ridiculous, isn’t it.”

“Probably, but do it anyway,” Cas said. “You’ll feel better and I’ll know I’m not alone out there.”

Sam was confused. “Uriel’s not coming?”

“He is. Zachariah said he would arrive in a few minutes. I should probably go, so when he comes to me you won’t have to deal with him. Before I do, though…” Cas took a piece of paper and wrote out what he knew about Anna. “If your hunt wraps up before we find her, I would welcome your help.”

“Thank you.” Sam stood up and had half-lifted his arms to hug Castiel before he caught himself. Castiel looked at him curiously, and Sam tried to figure out how you defuse this awkward. Castiel was the one to figure it out, stepping forward to gently hug Sam. He kept it short, but as he pulled back, his hands trailed softly over Sam’s ribs. Then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asking Dean to pray just seems like a terrible idea.


	6. A Jewel of Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby shows up with a warning about Alastair, Anna, Cas, and Uriel.

Once done with the salt and burn, the Winchesters hit a bar for a night of drinking and pool. Sam had just won a large bet on a hustle when he saw Ruby across the room. He took the money and followed Ruby outside with a quick look to Dean to warn him to stay put. “What do you want?”

“You to get back into training and kill Lilith, but I’m actually just here with some information.” Ruby stared at Sam. “You stink like angel.”

“Sorry,” Sam said insincerely. “Information?”

“There’s a really powerful demon topside.”

Sam bit back the smirk. “Alastair. I know.”

Ruby looked a little surprised, but recovered quickly. “He’s after a schizophrenic woman.”

“Anna Milton. She hears the angels.”

Ruby looked surprised, but also pissed. “If you know that, why aren’t you hunting her down to protect her? You can’t just ignore this!”

Sam shrugged. “We’re heading out first thing tomorrow. Anything you can tell us about where she is?”

“Psych ward in Cleveland. I can take you there.”

Before Sam could respond, Dean and his pissed-off demeanor showed up. “The hell is _she_ doing here, Sammy?”

“Telling us about a woman we need to find and protect and a demon we need to avoid.” Sam let the smirk out this time.

“Anna and Alastair? Yeah, we know,” Dean said.

Ruby got in Dean’s face. “Then you of all people know why we need to find Anna first.”

Dean shrugged. “Angels are on it.”

“What, Castiel and Uriel? You know if they find her, they’re gonna _kill_ her, right? It’s the only way to be sure, they’ll claim.” Ruby backed off, turning her most sincere face on Sam. “Angels are dicks, Sam, haven’t you figured that out?”

“Uriel’s a dick, that’s for sure,” Sam agreed, not wanting to talk about Castiel until he’d had a chance to talk to Cas about this.

“Anna’s better off dead than in Alastair’s clutches,” Dean added. “She ends up in Hell, she won’t hear the voices anymore no matter what Alastair does to her.”

“Still, isn’t she best off alive and safe?” Ruby pressed, and Sam actually found himself believing she cared on this one. “You can’t trust the angels with Anna, boys.”

Dean snorted. “But we can trust you? All we know, you’re gonna get us with Anna and sell all three of us out to Alastair.”

“I hate Alastair as much as you do, Dean,” Ruby spat. “Sam, I swear, I’m not trying to screw you over. I’m trying to save a woman who hasn’t done a damn thing wrong.”

“You’re a demon, you don’t need to sleep. Me and Sam do. And there’s no way I’m letting you drive my car.” Dean turned to walk away. “We’re heading out first thing tomorrow if you still wanna help.”

Sam followed Dean. “Do you think she meant it?”

“Meant what? About what Cas and Junkless will do?” Sam nodded. “Yeah, she believes it. Uriel would without a second thought. Cas… I don’t know. If that’s his orders, he’ll follow them."

Sam was quiet on the trip back to the hotel. Dean claimed first shower, so Sam went to a chair and began to pray. “Castiel. Hope you’re okay, that your wings are holding up and Uriel’s not being too big a dick. Please don’t push yourself too hard. Ruby came to find me, to warn me about Alastair and Anna. We finished our hunt, we’re gonna start looking for Anna in the morning, Ruby’s got a couple leads and seems reasonably sincere in wanting to help. But… she said something. And I know she’s a demon and demons lie and she in particular has lied to me before, but Dean believes it, so I don’t know. She said you guys are gonna kill Anna if you find her. I don’t want to believe it, but it makes too much sense to ignore. Cas, please, tell me Ruby’s wrong or lying or that there’s more to the story, because otherwise you’re gonna kill an innocent person for something she can’t help and probably never asked for. Someone like me.” There was more he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the words to do it through prayer. “Be careful out there, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruby is one of my favorite troublemakers.


	7. Conflict

Sam was settling in for sleep when Castiel arrived. If anything, he looked worse than he had the day before, and Sam reached out for him. “Are you… I’m guessing there’s still nothing I can do to help you?”

“Other than distracting me, no,” Castiel said, letting Sam help him flop onto the bed. “Uriel and I fought over our interpretations of our orders. Ruby is partially correct, but there is more to this story.”

“Can you tell me anything?” Sam asked, desperately hoping Cas could make it all okay.

Castiel sighed, staring at the wall while he sorted through things. “Zachariah gave us the order to kill her, but Rebecca gave us another option. Naturally, I favor Rebecca’s solution, but it’s more work for us as it means tracking down the necessary component. Given the situation, I would have thought Uriel would be more reasonable about it. I can’t tell you the full situation or what Rebecca wants us to do. I’m sorry. Now Uriel and I are racing, if I find what I need and Anna first I can save her, if he finds her first he will kill her.”

“Why are you here?” Sam asked, torn between concern for his friend and fear for Anna.

Cas dropped his head. “I’m badly wounded, and I need to rest. Here, if you don’t mind the awkward dreams, I can at least do something good while I regain my strength. From what I can tell, keeping your nightmares away has nothing to do with my power or grace, just my proximity. Also, I heard your prayer. I wanted to give you what reassurances I could. I wish I could tell you more.”

“Don’t worry about the dreams, I’ll let you know if it gets too awkward but as long as you don’t tell Dean, kissing dreams are fine.” He toyed with the blanket a little. “Rebecca’s solution… will Anna survive?”

“That depends on how you look at it,” Castiel admitted. “I wish I could give better reassurance than that, but I can’t.”

“Why not?” Because that wasn’t reassuring at all, really.

“Because…” Once again, Castiel took a moment to figure out how much he could say. “We know why she can hear our communications. We cannot leave her as she is. Rebecca’s plan would change her drastically, but some core part of her would survive. And now I really can’t say more. I’m sorry.”

Sam nodded, accepting it. “Dean and I are going to try to stop you, you know. If it reaches that point, you’re the best option, I guess. We’re never handing her over to Alastair and better you than Uriel, but we’re gonna at least try to protect her.”

“If it weren’t for Alastair, I would agree that she should be left alone. You and Dean are good, but you can’t protect Anna all the time, she needs to be able to protect herself.” Cas cut off, but Sam could feel his frustration. “Please, have faith in me that this is the best possible solution. And Sam… there is a very significant difference between your situation and Anna’s.”

“That you can’t tell me,” Sam guessed.

“Yes. I…”

Sam didn’t wanna hear it. He lay down and pulled the blankets up tight, wrapping his arms around himself as if that would help bridge the rift Anna had opened between him and Cas. “Good night, Castiel.”

 

_Sam sat at a table beside Castiel. Opposite them, Dean had his arm around a very pretty red-haired woman. There was a cake on the table that read “Happy birthday, Anna!” The woman looked oddly at Dean. “You know that’s a bad joke, don’t you? Cas and I would have eaten any kind of cake.”_

_Dean smirked. “How many chances do I get to make puns like this? We’re not exactly cake people around here. I couldn’t resist, baby.”_

_Castiel laced his fingers through Sam’s. “What did Dean do?” he whispered._

_“We’re celebrating Anna’s birthday, right? So… Dean made angel-food cake.”_

_“But this is Anna’s human birthday,” Castiel said. “And angels don’t…”_

_Sam shrugged and squeezed Cas’s hand. “It’s Dean. And it’s not literal, it’s called that because it’s white and really light. At least he didn’t go for devils’-food cake.”_

_“Next time,” Dean promised. He cut them each a slice of cake. “To Anna, my beautiful angel. Happy birthday.”_

_“Cake tasted better before I could taste the molecules,” Anna said wistfully. “Cas, being an angel again… there’s so much I miss.”_

_Cas nodded. “I know. I’m sorry, Anna.”_

_“You did the right thing. And I do still have some human things. Anna Milton is the perfect vessel for me. And I can love Dean.”_

_Castiel sat up straighter. “I’ve never been human. Do you doubt my love for Sam?”_

_“Not really, that’s different,” Anna said with a shrug. “Besides, any time you’re around him, the two of you can’t keep your eyes and hands off each other. It’s adorable. You know there’s a betting pool going, right?”_

_“Betting on what?” Sam asked warily._

_“On when you two lovenerds are gonna get engaged, and which of you’s actually gonna pop the question,” Dean said. “I hear Rufus put a hundred bucks on me getting sick of things and just informing you when the wedding is.”_

_Sam dropped his fork to cover his face with his now-free hand. The other hand, of course, remained tied up with Castiel’s._


	8. Explanations

Sam once again woke up to Castiel arguing with Dean. “Hey, guys,” he said, getting their attention. “This gonna become normal?”

“He’s gonna kill Anna, and he won’t say how his way’s different,” Dean snapped.

“I, um… had this fight with him last night.” Sam got up and headed for the bathroom. “Castiel. In my dream last night, Anna was an angel. She said Anna Milton was her vessel. Is that what you can’t tell us? That she’s an angel who somehow became human and forgot? And you’re wanting to make her an angel again?”

“You dreamed of Anna?” Castiel asked when Sam came out of the bathroom. “Was it…” He shook his head, not finishing his question.

The only thing Sam could think of was that Cas was jealous, but that didn’t make any sense. “You and me and Dean and Anna had gotten together to celebrate Anna’s birthday. Dean baked her a cake. Angel-food.”

Castiel actually laughed at that, just a little. “That does seem like Dean’s sense of humor. Your dream was correct, Anna Milton used to be a seraph named Anael. She led my garrison. But one day, she cut out her grace. She chose to fall, to be reborn as human. Something went wrong, we believe. She should have been cut off from our communications completely, but clearly she wasn’t. Restoring her grace would, in a sense, kill Anna Milton, but Anael would remain and have Anna’s memories. And the significant difference I spoke of last night: Anael chose this. Fallen angels are rare, and errors like this don’t happen every time, but there have been enough that she knew this was a risk. You didn’t choose the blood at all.”

“Sammy? What’s goin’ on here?”

Sam mentally cursed. He’d forgotten Dean didn’t know about his dreams. “Those nightmares… the ones Cas is holding off… there are some things in them that are extremely accurate but that I couldn’t possibly know. This fight about what to do about Anna, Cas couldn’t tell me about Anael, but I dreamt it. Some stuff is obviously wrong, but her talk about being an angel who was once human had the ring of truth to it.”

“Obviously wrong?” Cas asked.

Sam huffed. “Yeah. Like Dean’s never met Anna or Anael, so there’s no way the two of them are in a relationship that’s gotten to the stage where Dean would bake her a cake or let her get away with teasing me. I can’t imagine Rufus betting anything on Dean frogmarching me to my own wedding because he’s sick of waiting for me to get around to it.” Sam mentally kicked himself as soon as it was out. “Anyway, for what it’s worth, in my dream Anna said you did the right thing in making her an angel again. How are your wings feeling?”

“Stiff. Sore. Somehow worse than yesterday morning.” Cas stood up, and Sam could see the effort it cost him. “But still, I must go continue my search.”

Sam nodded. “Good luck.” He stood up as well and hugged Cas.

“This Anna chick better be hot,” Dean said once Cas was gone. “Were you gonna tell me you’re Miss Cleo again?”

“Did you really want to know that somehow I'm dreaming Lucifer and his cage in accurate detail, if Cas isn't there to stop it?” Sam countered. “So far, there’s been nothing prophetic, and it doesn’t give me lasting headaches like the visions did. This is the first time it’s ever been relevant in any way I can see. And the only reason I asked through prayer at first is so Cas could blow off the questions if he still wasn’t allowed to answer.”

Dean rolled his eyes at that. “Well that was nice of you. You and Cas are getting awfully friendly. Angel crush coming back now that you’ve found one who’s more nerd than dick?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sam said. He honestly hadn’t thought about it, but now that Dean said it… “He really isn’t that bad a guy. Anyway, I thought Anna was hot, so you should be okay there.”


	9. Anna's Choice

With Ruby’s help, they found Anna and got her to a warded cabin where she’d be safe from Alastair. Once they’d settled in, Anna stole Sam’s knife and cut her arm open, drawing a sigil on the wall. “That will blow away angels. Not permanently, but it’ll buy us time to figure out something else,” she explained. “Do we know which ones are after me?”

“Uriel wants you dead, Castiel’s trying to find another way,” Sam said, not wanting to go into too much detail unless Anna remembered.

Anna shook her head. “I doubt Uriel wants me dead, I’m sure he’s just following orders to kill me. Castiel is looking for my grace? That’s interesting, I always thought that if any of my angels followed me it would be him.”

“You know what you are?” Dean said.

“Seeing Ruby, getting close to Alastair, brought it all back,” Anna said, sending a silent apology to Ruby. “I’m a fallen angel. Alastair’s after me, but we can’t let him have me. So either I stay here forever so you guys have to watch over me forever, I die, or I go back to being a cold statue and accept punishment or run into rebellion.”

Sam and Dean held a quick nonverbal conference. “Well, I guess that since you know what your options are, you get to be the one to make the call on which one to take,” Sam said.

Anna considered, but not for long. “Castiel’s my best option. Don’t call him yet, though, there’s still one thing I want to do while I’m human. Dean? Will you help me with this?”

Sam rolled his eyes as the distinctive sounds of two people preparing to have sex drifted through the door that they hadn’t gotten all the way closed. He went over and fully shut it, sharing a half-amused, half-annoyed glance with Ruby. He gave Dean and Anna some time before starting his prayer. “Castiel, it’s Sam. Dean and Ruby and I have Anna, she remembers everything, and she thinks your solution is the best. She’s taking care of some human business, but it shouldn’t take too much longer, so if you’ve got what you need, come on over.”

Castiel arrived quickly. He noticed the sigil and pulled a vial on a chain from around his neck, putting it around Sam’s instead. “Uriel may come after us to go for the kill. The banishing sigil will affect us both, but it can’t banish you. Where are they?”

“Still having sex,” Ruby said. “Anna wanted to do it while she was still human.”

If Castiel was surprised or shocked, he hid it well. “That makes sense. She fell because she got too good at following the rules angels are supposed to live by, and it drove her mad.”

“What rules?” Sam asked.

“We’re supposed to be above things like emotion and physical contact. Anna struggled with that, and eventually she got to the point where cutting out her grace was preferable to living that way,” Castiel said.

Sam blinked. “You’re not supposed to touch people?”

Castiel shrugged. “And you’re not supposed to cry because you’re no longer a child. It’s not law, just custom, and some angels find it easier than others. I have generally found it easy, although for some reason I feel compelled to touch you.”

Ruby snorted. “So you’ve already moved on? Explains a lot.”

Sam felt himself getting a little warm. “Could be the guardian thing, Cas. Friendly touch keeps me from going nuts.”

“Perhaps,” Castiel said, though he sounded skeptical. “Although it’s not like any other guardian’s call I’ve experienced. Those tend to be just as strong halfway around the world or in Heaven as they are five feet away, but this gets stronger when I’m closer.”

“Well, as long as you stop if I ask you to, I don’t mind being touched,” Sam said with a soft smile.

Ruby raised an eyebrow. “You might wanna explain some things to him about where touching goes beyond friendly.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Ruby? Cas has been watching humanity since before we existed. I’m sure he knows how sex works.”

“Of course. My knowledge of acceptable boundaries may be a little fuzzy, though, so if I overstep, please understand that it was unintentional and let me know,” Cas said, unusually serious even for him.

“Not a problem,” Sam promised. “We get this done, you gonna be able to actually rest those wings?”

“I hope so. If you must banish me, I’m not certain how long it will take me to get back to you.” Cas reached out, laying a hand on Sam’s arm. “Do it anyway. We cannot let Uriel kill her.”

“And why not, brother?” Uriel arrived in a flutter of wings, voice as oily as ever. “Even with her grace restored, Anael could be captured. And you, Castiel, you are in serious trouble.”

Castiel straightened up from his crouch beside Sam. “I told Sam nothing. He learned it on his own.”

It didn’t faze Uriel at all. “Take that up with Zachariah.”

“Castiel? Why are you taking orders from Zachariah?” Anna asked as she and Dean returned.

“He is my superior. I report to Rebecca, as you arranged, but Zachariah has involved himself in this matter and I have no acceptable reason to refuse,” Castiel said.

“And Zachariah has ordered us to kill you, Anael.” Uriel was completely matter-of-fact about it.

“Castiel?” Anna raised her eyebrows, looking at Sam, clearly seeing her grace. “You were ordered to kill me?”

Castiel nodded. “Rebecca intervened, giving us another option.”

Uriel slid his angel blade out, preparing to end the discussion. Anna looked at it briefly and slammed her hand into the banishing sigil. Sam reached for Cas, but he was gone. Once the light settled, Sam took the grace from around his neck. “Cas was afraid it might come to that, and he’s seriously hurt. Uriel had a much better chance of getting back first.”

Anna took the grace with mixed emotions. “What’s wrong with Castiel?”

“He had a run-in with Alastair and hasn’t been able to get the rest he needs because he was looking for you and your grace,” Dean explained.

Anna flinched. “Then I should stop stalling. Ruby, get out of here. Sam, Dean, you’ll probably want to go with her.” The others hesitated. “I’m about to release a _lot_ of holy power! It would likely kill Ruby, and I don’t know what it’ll do to Winchesters.”

Ruby took off, and the boys followed. When they were a safe distance away, Sam stopped to pray. “Hey, Castiel. Anna’s about to regrace herself, so it worked. I hope you’re okay, or at least, as okay as you can be. Please look after yourself until you can come back to us. Me and Dean, we care about you.”

A brilliant white light came from the cabin. As the glow slowly dimmed, Anna – Anael, now – walked out. “It’s safe. You can come back.”

Dean was the first to go. “Well, you still look like Anna,” he joked.

“I would prefer that you continue to call me Anna,” the angel said. “I chose to fall rather than remain Anael, and I’m choosing rebellion over going back to the rules.” She reached out to Dean, pulling him down into a kiss. “You have been forgiven, Dean. You should forgive yourself.” She went to Ruby, kissing her as well. “Consider carefully what you want, Ruby. You’re worth far more than you think and far less than you’ve been told.” She disappeared.


	10. What Do You Do with an Unconscious Angel?

Dean blinked. “Okay, the demon gets advice and a kiss and the guy who actually saved her ass gets nothing? Guess she’s…”

He cut off as Anna reappeared, Castiel in her arms. “Sam, I can’t stay with you long, it’s not safe, but I can show you what needs to be done for him.” She hesitated. “Just how close are you two?”

“Uh… we’re friends?” Sam took a moment to try to figure out how to explain. “He’s my guardian, mine and Dean’s, and when I’ve got his wings mucking with my dreams they’re good.”

“You’ve slept under his wings?” Anna asked, seeming pleased.

“I was having nightmares bad enough that I was apparently calling out for him in my sleep. If he stays near me, the nightmares don’t come. With his wings injured…”

“Oh.” Anna glanced between Cas and Sam. “Have you ever actually seen his wings?”

“He showed me, maybe,” Dean said as Sam shook his head. “Although it was probably just shadows or something.”

“Hmm. That complicates matters.” Anna looked down at Castiel. “Where should I take him?”

“Here’s fine, just get him to one of the beds,” Dean said. “He’s gonna wake up, right?”

“In a day or two,” Anna said reassuringly. “At which point he’ll be insisting that he needs to return to Heaven to report in. If he goes, it will likely be several days before he can come back. Try to keep him here.”

Sam watched as Anna lay him down on the nearest bed. “Wouldn’t he be better off in Heaven? There have to be healers or something, at least better than what Dean and I can scrape up.”

“If this were Uriel, or just about any other angel I know, I’d have taken him straight there,” Anna said, face clouded with indecision and uncertainty. “But Castiel is better off here. He should never have been chosen for this assignment.”

Dean bristled. “Why not? He’s been doing a great job. If this is about Sam, he made the right call.”

“He made the only call he ever would,” Anna corrected. “I fear that Castiel will end up falling or rebelling because of being assigned this mission. I can feel his doubts already, and he’s left the path of the cold-hearted soldier. His emotions will overcome him. He always did have more heart than was good for him.”

“Still not understanding why you didn’t take Cas to Heaven and healing…” Dean prompted.

Anna sighed. “Well, for one, I thought Sam would be able to do more for him than he can. Even so, with him is the best place for him to be. If he were in Heaven, he’d require constant guarding to keep him from coming down to you two, especially if those nightmares came back to make you call, Sam.”

“What do you mean? What can’t I do for him that you thought I could?” Sam asked, sitting beside Cas and taking his hand.

“His wings are where the worst of his injuries are. I’ll be able to do a little with my grace, before I have to run, but if you’d been able I could have done more," Anna said.

Sam didn't understand. “And I can’t because…”

“Because you can’t treat what you can’t see, and if Castiel hasn’t let you in that way already, it’s not my place to force it. Although I do question what he’s waiting for.” Anna sighed again. “The only reason I’m willing to risk as much as I am is that he used to be mine. Just before I fell, I gave him to Rebecca.”

“Gave him…” Sam had to be misunderstanding. “What did he think of that?”

“He knew what I was planning. He was the only one. The rest of the garrison was surprised to be given to Rebecca.” Yep. Sam had misunderstood. The relief he felt surprised him a bit. “Castiel was grateful – it was her or Zachariah, and giving Cas to Zachariah would have been cruel. Castiel’s a good soldier, but he has a sensitive heart and Zachariah is… petty. If Cas had been Zachariah’s when he marked you, he would have been punished in a thousand little ways already, even though he had the right.”

“We can figure this out later,” Dean said. “What _can_ we do for him?”

“Keep him comfortable and as still as you can. He won’t want to, but when he wakes up, make him drink some water and try to get him to eat. The less his grace has to do for his vessel, the faster it can heal his wings. Once he’s awake, he can move around here, but do everything you can to keep him from flying off. Sam, where you sleep is up to you, but if you want to be with him, I’m sure Castiel won’t object. I made sure to leave room.”

“Huh?” Dean asked.

“My nightmares that he’s been holding off,” Sam explained. “From what he’s said, it’s just him being there, he doesn’t actually have to do anything. Anna, if I pray, will he still hear it?”

“Yes. Be careful with what you say or he may try to rouse himself before he’s ready. If you need help, call me or pray to Rebecca.” Anna laid her hands on Castiel’s back. “I have to go. And when I said call me – I meant on the phone. I’m in your contacts, both of you.” She disappeared, leaving the Winchesters alone with Cas and Ruby.

“Gonna be an awkward couple of days,” Ruby said. “I’m gonna bail, but call me if you need help.”

“I won’t need…” Sam started to protest.

“Not what I meant,” Ruby said with a laugh. “For once I really just mean if you need an extra body, especially one with superhuman abilities. Alastair’s still out there, remember him? The demon who hurt your angel in the first place? I’ll see what I can learn, let you know if he knows you’re here, that kind of thing.”

She took off, and there was a silence. “I don’t get angels,” Sam finally said. “I thought I was kind of starting to get to, but I’m more confused now than when Cas first took my hand.”

“Yeah.” Dean looked over at Cas. “Seemed like Anna thought you were sleeping with Cas in the non-angel-approved way. Any idea why?”

“She’s a romantic sap? I don’t know.” Sam looked down, huffing in amusement when he realized he was still holding Cas’s hand. “If I were, would that be a problem for you?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Dean said. He held up a hand. “Whoa, before you get mad… it’s not because he’s a dude, or an angel, or even because he’s our guardian. It’s… okay, maybe it is because he’s an angel, but because you’ve had that angel boner since you were a kid. And then you meet Cas, and he’s a dick to you, but then he abruptly changes course with no explanation. You’ll forgive the skepticism. And then, bigger problem – that ain’t an empty shell. Cas isn’t riding a coma patient.”

“I know, but he did have to give consent,” Sam said. “Still, that’s not somewhere I want to go, but better than a demon’s host at least.”

“You thinking about it, then?” Dean asked.

“Kinda, yeah,” Sam admitted. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not gonna try anything, but given my demon blood… it’s kind of a nice fantasy, you know? And better Cas than any other angel we’ve met.”

“Anna?”

“Slept with my brother?”

“Thought you were with Cas or she might’ve picked you,” Dean pointed out. “Besides, far as I know it was a one-time I don’t want to die a virgin thing anyway.”

“Maybe. It’s still a little weird, though.” Sam yawned. “It’s been a long day, Dean, you should get some sleep.”

Dean stood up and found the Impala keys. “Not yet. I’m headed to town for food and booze. What do you want?”

“Whatever,” Sam said. “Salad for preference but don’t worry too much about me.”

Dean stopped at the door. “I’m waking you up and force-feeding you if it comes to it, you haven’t eaten all day.”

Sam rolled his eyes as Dean left, but he couldn't help enjoying Dean being ridiculously big brothery. He'd never thought he'd miss that until Dean went to Hell. “Castiel. I know Anna had to do it, but I’m sorry you have to go through this. Anna found you and brought you to me and Dean. We’ll do everything we can for you, but you need the rest. Ruby’s keeping an eye out for Alastair, we can call Anna, so please, Castiel, I am begging you to take care of yourself. Anna said you’d probably try to force yourself to wake up, and I get it, I do, but you need this rest. You promised me you’d try, so this is me holding you to that, okay? Dean and I will be right here, and I’ll let Rebecca know why you haven’t reported in. Amen.”

He didn’t usually end his prayers that way, not anymore, but this time was different. He let go of Cas’s hand and folded it with the other in his lap, assuming a more traditional pose for praying. “Holy Rebecca, please, hear my prayer. I’m praying on behalf of Castiel, who’s too weak to return to Heaven on his own. He never got the rest or healing he needed to recover from Alastair’s attack, because of the situation with Anna, and then Anna had to banish him to protect herself from Uriel. Once Anna was restored, she found Castiel and brought him to us – me and my brother. He’s unconscious. Dean and I will do what we can for him, but that’s not much. I just thought you should know why he wasn’t reporting in. If you can do anything to help him recover, please do it. Amen.”


	11. Truth and Decision Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ephraim, an angelic healer, arrives to see what he can do to help Castiel. Jimmy Novak gets to go home.

“Sam Winchester,” a voice said behind him. “Stand up and step back from Castiel.”

Sam stood, turning to look at the newcomer, but he didn’t move away. “Who are you?”

“My name is Ephraim. I’m of the Rit Zien, the angelic order of healers. Rebecca heard your prayer and sent me to assess Castiel’s condition. You needn’t leave, just give me space to work. I’ll warn you if you need to hide or leave to protect yourself.” Sam backed away warily, hesitantly, but Ephraim just examined the stricken angel closely. 

“There are decisions to be made here,” he said eventually. “He’s worse than I expected. Alastair got a kind of poison into him that’s been weakening him even beyond the lack of rest and healing. Thankfully the banishing neutralized the poison, but it did its damage. Without your care, Castiel would likely take weeks to recover, and even with your care the vessel’s owner may well die. Ordinarily, I would pull Castiel out and leave the vessel to its fate, without Castiel inside he might recover, but Castiel needs a vessel, and a strong one, if he is to have a chance at survival, let alone completing his mission. Jimmy Novak comes from a bloodline with much power. What I can do is to clone the vessel, transfer Jimmy into that clone, which would leave Castiel alone in this body. The clone won’t have the power of the Novak bloodline, so it cannot be used as a vessel, or I would move Castiel since the clone is the weaker of the two bodies. Does that meet with your approval?”

Sam blinked. “What’s my approval got to do with it?”

“I can’t ask Castiel or Jimmy what they want,” Ephraim said, tilting his head. “You are human, you have far greater insight into what Jimmy would want than I, and who better to speak for Castiel than you?”

“Well, Dean…” Sam started, but he stopped at Ephraim’s confused look. “I don’t know Jimmy at all, but if it were me, I’d want you to do it. And I’m fairly sure Cas will agree.”

Ephraim touched a hand to Castiel, and suddenly there were two identical people in the room. “What’s going on?” the one standing up said.

“Jimmy Novak?” Sam asked, and the man nodded. “I’m Sam Winchester, a friend of Castiel’s. He got too weak to heal you, and pulling him out would likely kill you, so Ephraim pulled you out instead and put you in a clone of yourself.”

“I know who you are, Sam,” Jimmy said. “Castiel told me a good deal about you. He’s not coming back in?”

“Even if you agreed to allow him, he can’t,” Ephraim said. “No angel can take you now. It’s over.”

“Thank God,” Jimmy said, a sigh of relief coming out with the words. “So… I can go home?”

“You might not want to,” Sam said, hating himself for thinking it. “Demons will be after you.”

“I don’t know anything that can help them,” Jimmy said. “I have a wife and a daughter I haven’t seen in months. I’m going home.”

“I’ll take you when I’m finished here,” Ephraim promised. He touched Castiel, and a pair of long black wings came into view. “Come here, Sam, let me show you how to help him.”

Jimmy looked incredibly startled. “Ephraim, Sam’s not… you shouldn’t be doing this.”

Ephraim didn’t even look up. “This is what the feathers should look like,” he said, pointing to a patch of sleek, glossy black. “These over here are broken. As long as he’s still, it won’t matter, but the sooner they’re pulled the sooner new ones will grow. These are dying. You can tell by the lack of luster. Those should be pulled as soon as you find them; leaving dead feathers in can cause infection or permanent damage.” He demonstrated the proper technique. “Once you’ve checked the feathers, go deeper, see if you can find knots or cramps in the muscle and work them out.”

Jimmy grabbed Sam’s arm as he was reaching out. “Sam, wait. I know you want to help him get better, but this isn’t right. Castiel’s going to be upset enough that you’ve seen his wings, but so far, he can let things go as ignorance and good intentions. But if you touch them… there’s no going back from that. He’ll forgive you, don’t worry about that, but he’ll always feel trapped, lessened, and he’ll hate himself for trapping you with him.”

Now Ephraim did look away from Castiel’s wings. “The bond is there. Sam has every right to do this for him, and no one else can.”

Jimmy sighed. “I know that and you know that, but Castiel is in denial and Sam hasn’t been told anything. It’s a terrible position for Castiel to be stuck in, but he knew and accepted the risk.”

“What bond? Why shouldn’t I help Castiel?” Sam asked.

“A long time ago, angels walked the Earth. On occasion, angels took human mates. The way that works: an angel proposed by displaying his wings, and the human accepted by laying hands on them. Once that bond is formed, no one else – not even another angel, not even the Rit Zien – is permitted to touch the angel’s wings, except for things like Ephraim teaching you how to pull feathers.”

“I’m still confused,” Sam said.

Jimmy let out another, longer sigh of exasperation. “If you touch Castiel’s wings, you’ve accepted his offer of mating – one that he didn’t actually make, but that would still be binding. And this is Heaven we’re talking about here. Annulment and divorce are a strictly human thing.”

“And Ephraim and Anna can’t help him because…” Sam prodded.

“Because Castiel’s already bonded. The actual ritual is just a formality at this point, but one he takes seriously." Sam was about to ask when and how, but Jimmy continued. "He didn’t realize at the time what bending the rules to be guardian to you would do, not that he regrets having done it, but he wanted you to not know what had happened unless you got there on your own. Which he would never push you toward, because of me. He explained all this to me when it happened.”

“Now you’re gone, though,” Sam said.

“So he can pursue you, but I doubt he will," Jimmy said. "Even with me gone he wouldn’t take it well if the bonding was formalized like this. This turned into a giant mess, and I’m sorry. But I had to stop you.”

“Yeah. You did the right thing, Jimmy, and I’m grateful. I’ll… talk to him when he wakes up.” Sam went to take Cas’s hand again, but stopped as he realized a problem. “Ephraim, can you hide his wings again? Otherwise I might end up…”

Ephraim nodded. “I apologize, Sam, and please pass my regrets along to Castiel when you talk. The bond was just so strong, so obvious to me, that I never even questioned that it might not be formalized.” He reached a hand out to Jimmy. “Are you ready?”

“Yes. Sam, thank you. For what it’s worth, Castiel didn’t intend for any of this to happen, but he fully embraces the bond. You and Dean be careful, okay?” Jimmy took Ephraim’s hand, and the two men disappeared.


	12. Clearing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam works to wrap his mind around what Jimmy told him. With a little help from Dean, Anna, and a dream, he figures out what he wants.

When Dean got back with the food, Sam was back in the chair beside Cas, holding his hand. “You’re not asleep.”

“You were bringing me food,” Sam said, letting go of Cas to take what Dean had brought. Chicken sandwich and French fries, not bad considering he’d basically given Dean permission to get whatever.

“C’mon, when’s that ever stopped you from doing whatever the hell it is you want to do, especially if it’s go to sleep?” Dean teased.

“I let Rebecca know about Cas, and she sent a healer to check on him,” Sam said. “Now everything’s a giant mess and I was about two inches away from accidentally marrying him.”

Sam usually enjoyed the utterly baffled look on Dean’s face, but right now, he couldn’t. “Run that by me again?”

“Yeah, long story I only get about half of. I’m just frustrated. I could help him if I married him, but Cas very explicitly doesn’t want that.”

“What the…”

“I know.” Sam ate a few fries. “Oh! Jimmy’s out of there. He’s free, he went home to his wife and kid. He’s the one who tried to explain things to me before Ephraim – the healer – took him home. That’s all Castiel now.”

Dean set down his burger, looking over at Cas. “So… you gonna…”

“Talk to him when he wakes up. I have a whole bunch of questions I want answered before I decide anything. But, yeah, it’s on the table.”

Dean laughed, and Sam shot him a worried look. “I can just see the look on Dad’s face if he were here to hear you talking about marrying an angel in a dude’s body.”

Sam joined the laughter – it was a funny mental image. “Thank God I don’t have to tell him about this one. At least Jimmy stopped me in time.”

“Would it help to call Anna, you think? She could probably explain things…”

“I don’t know. Jimmy and Ephraim tried, Anna’s got both angel and human perspective, but it’s Cas I need.”

“Apparently,” Dean deadpanned.

“Not… really, Dean?” Sam couldn’t help the chuckle, though. He really should know better than to set Dean up like that. “I’m going to sleep. Not one word about where.” Dean couldn’t stop the grin as Sam curled up in the space beside Castiel, but he didn’t say a word.

 

_Castiel stretched up to kiss Sam. “Come with me, I would like to show you something.” Sam nodded and took the angel’s outstretched hand. Suddenly, they were up above the lights of the city. “Look up.”_

_Above city lights, the night sky was full of lights, so much more than Sam had ever seen. “It’s beautiful, Cas.”_

_“Much like you,” Castiel said. “A place of darkness that nothing can keep from shining with great beauty.”_

_Sam turned to look at Cas, a touch embarrassed by the compliment. He reached out to the long black wings that held them up, running his hand through the soft black feathers. “Like your wings. I still can’t believe you let me touch them.”_

_“More or less than you believe the plan for the rest of the night?” Cas pulled Sam in close for another kiss, teleporting them both to an empty room, where he promptly shoved Sam into the wall. Sam had only just recovered his balance when Castiel threw him again. This time, Sam was able to catch himself and dive at the angel, hitting Cas in the knees and taking him to the ground. The two fought each other, grappling back and forth, until Sam lay sprawled on his back, Cas on top of him, both of them panting and thoroughly bruised. Castiel pushed himself up just enough to let Sam’s hands get to his shirt buttons. Sam shoved him back to make it easier to slide the layers off of Cas’s shoulders, and as soon as Cas’s arms were free, he set to work getting Sam out of his shirts. They pulled apart to finish undressing, and Sam took Castiel back down to the ground. “It’s hard to say, really, but this at least I could have dreamed of,” he whispered as he trailed kisses down Cas’s neck and chest._

Sam woke up feeling a little awkward, a lot confused, and somewhat turned on. The awkwardness ramped up when he realized he’d rolled in his sleep and was now pressed up against Castiel, holding on tight. He immediately let go and tried to move back, but Cas’s hand fisted in his shirt and held him in place.

Dean raised an eyebrow when he came in. “Uh, Anna, I’ll call you back?”

Sam gestured for Dean to give him the phone. “Hey, Anna, it’s Sam. I think Castiel’s still asleep, but I’m not sure. He’s got hold of my shirt.”

“He’s probably still out. It’s instinct – he’s wounded and you comfort him.” Anna cleared her throat. “Listen, Dean said something about you almost accidentally –”

“Yeah, Ephraim…” Sam stopped and backed up. “Rebecca sent Ephraim to see what he could do for Cas. Ephraim got Jimmy out and into a clone and was teaching me how to take care of Cas’s wings when Jimmy jumped in and explained why I shouldn’t.”

“You okay?” Anna asked.

Good question. “I won’t know for sure until I can talk to Cas, but Jimmy said Cas isn’t really upset by this happening to him, just the idea of trapping me into it. And if last night’s dreams are anything to go by, we’ll be fine, but Cas said those aren’t necessarily literal.”

“Up to a point, they’re not. Sex?”

“Yeah.”

“Literal. Or literal enough, anyway. Be good to my brother, understand?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Anna.” Sam felt much better now. The dream had clarified a lot of things for him, and knowing that he could take it reasonably literally cleared up more.

“Remind me to thank Jimmy. Cas would have hated himself,” Anna said.

Sam handed the phone back to Dean, who said his goodbyes and hung up. “So, you and Cas, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda…" Sam trailed off, trying to figure out what to say here. "Cas can veto, but I want it. I’m a little surprised at how quickly I went from ‘dude hates me’ to ‘I can’t imagine life without him’, but it’s happened to me before. One day Jess was this gorgeous tall blonde Brady wanted me to meet but I thought was way out of my league and would probably never give me the time of day, two days later I asked if she wanted to be roommates come fall. Most girls probably would have been creeped out by that, I know, but all Jess did was ask why wait until then. I’d moved in by the end of the week.”

A lot of tension bled out of Dean then. “That actually makes me feel a lot better about this. You and Jess had something really special, so you and Cas probably do, too.”

“Yeah. So, obviously, I’m not going anywhere any time soon, but if you wanna head for town instead of hanging here, go for it.”

Dean brought Sam his laptop and then picked up his wallet and car keys. “Heading in for breakfast and some groceries, we’re gonna be here a few days, right?”

“If I can keep Cas from flying off to Heaven,” Sam said, trying to find a comfortable way to hold his laptop while still being close enough to Cas to comfort him in his sleep. May as well be comfortable while he worked.


	13. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas wakes up and he and Sam have a chance to talk. Among other things.

Sam spent the day reading books Dean had brought from the library, while Dean used Sam’s laptop to watch movies. After a dinner of microwaved pizza, Sam was settling in for the night when he heard a groan from Castiel. He reached out, laying a hand on Cas’s shoulder. “Hey. Don’t rush it, I’m here for a while. Dean and I are safe, so take care of yourself.”

“Sam?” Castiel’s voice was somewhat muffled. “How long have I been out?”

“About a day and a half, not quite, day and a quarter maybe?” Sam shrugged. “I let Rebecca know what happened and she sent Ephraim to do what he could.”

“Mmm.” Castiel closed his eyes, but they flew back open and he got himself mostly sitting upright. “What did Ephraim do?”

Sam explained how Jimmy had been freed. “He’s back home with his family now, Anna’s keeping an eye on them in case of demons.”

Castiel nodded. “It’s not ideal, but like restoring Anael, it’s the best of the available options. What else?”

Sam plucked at the blanket. “He manifested your wings so he could teach me what to do to help you heal.”

He could see the resignation written all over Castiel as he closed his eyes briefly. “I see.”

“Jimmy stopped me before I did something we can’t pretend never happened,” Sam said. “I can’t just forget them, and I can’t pretend I don’t know why Ephraim and Anna thought it was okay, but I can agree that it was a mistake. Jimmy said you didn’t know the bond would form, so you’ve already been trapped. I’m not going to force the issue.”

“I didn’t know, but I only regret that I didn’t give you the choice. If I’d known, I would have told you and let you decide.” Castiel at least looked a little less haunted. “Sam, please, I know you want to help me heal, but I would endure this pain forever before I let you trap yourself. Don’t let your pity for me overcome your sense.”

“I can’t exactly touch your wings if you don’t manifest them, Cas,” Sam pointed out with a grin. “But last night, I slept here to hold off the nightmares. Anna suggested that if I started calling for you in my sleep, you’d probably force yourself awake too soon to try to help me. I never got the chance to tell you properly about the dream with Anna.”

“Birthday cake and her and Dean teasing you about your wedding,” Castiel recalled.

“More like engagement, but not important. Anna said that she could love Dean because she’d been human, and that upset you. You’d never been human, so you assumed she doubted your love for me. She didn’t, the only thing she questioned was when one of us would propose, so obviously I felt the same way.”

Castiel looked like he was trying to quash the feelings the description stirred. “I’ve told you, those dreams aren’t always literal. You don’t necessarily want…”

“I know that, Cas, and Anna said the same thing when I talked to her this morning.” Sam reached out to take Cas’s hand. “But last night. You flew me up to see the stars as they’re meant to be seen, and then took me to an abandoned warehouse where you threw me into a wall.”

“What? I was hurting you?” Cas said, pulling his hand back in distress.

Sam reached out for it again. “Yeah, but when we’d had enough of the throwdown, we were both thoroughly aroused and quickly got each other naked. I had this feeling that dreaming about sex was pretty much literal, and Anna agreed.”

“Yes. It… but I was hurting you, so are you sure…”

“Hey. I was completely on board with both the fighting and the sex, Cas. In a weird way, it kinda felt like the fight was… it was foreplay. I have to admit, I’ve always kinda liked the idea of being with someone who could throw me around like that, but there aren’t just a whole lot of people who can.” Sam grinned and ducked his head. “I know it’s a really quick progression, but it was like this with Jess, and I would have married her. If she hadn’t died, I’d probably still be with her. And that’s what I feel about you, too. Whether I make it official now, ten years from now, or never, it doesn’t matter. You’re it for me. All I want, everything I’ll ever need. I survived losing Jess, but I’m not sure I have it in me to bounce back again.”

“Sam, a week ago you hated me,” Castiel said quietly.

“No, I didn’t. I was incredibly hurt, but that was never just about you, that was about feeling rejected and betrayed by the beings I’d had such faith in for so long.” Cas still looked skeptical. “Cas, you can read my heart and my mind, can’t you? Do it.”

Castiel’s eyes blazed with blue intensity as he stared into Sam’s face. He reached out and put a hand to Sam’s chest, causing him to let out a gasp of surprise. “This shouldn’t be possible. How…?” He let his wings ripple into manifestation. “If you truly wish to do this now, you may. It seems there’s no point in waiting.”

Sam reached out, quickly scanning for a patch of healthy feathers to bury his fingers in. “What shouldn’t be possible?” he asked as he gently brushed his hands over the wings.

“You’re bonded. You were bonded even before you touched my wings, before you saw them. It’s stronger now, you have a piece of my grace wrapped around your soul, but the initial bond formed of your own creation. Three nights ago, when I first arrived injured.”

“Wow,” Sam breathed. “No wonder I fell so fast and hard. I’m guessing that shouldn’t have happened?” He moved behind Castiel, determined that after putting his angel through three days of unneeded suffering, he should stop wasting time and get to work. “You wanna lie down for this?”

Castiel complied quickly, and Sam began working through the feathers. “You even less than most humans, because of the demon blood. Had you not been cursed… but then, if your soul hadn’t been fighting for so long, you may not have gained this strength.”

“Any ideas how it did?” Sam asked.

Castiel shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ll have to ask around, see if it’s ever happened before, but I can’t say I’m complaining.”

Sam chuckled. “So I have a question. Just how asleep were you this morning?”

“Hmm? I heard your prayers, but other than that, I remember nothing. Why do you ask?” Cas said.

“Just… when I woke up this morning, I’d rolled into you in my sleep. I tried to move away and you wouldn’t let me. I’m not complaining, I’m just curious if that was instinct or something else.”

“Instinct, mostly,” Cas said. “I certainly wasn’t aware I was doing it, but I suspect I wouldn’t have clung to, for example, Anna or Dean. Not that either of them would likely put themselves in such a position.”

“Fair enough.” Sam looked at the pile of feathers that was growing all too quickly. “How did you fly? No wonder Ephraim said it would take you weeks to recover.”

“Longer, if I ever did,” Castiel said, shivering a little at the thought. “I can’t imagine you and Dean staying out of trouble long enough for me to fully recover. Where is Dean, anyway?”

“Asleep in the other room.” Sam smoothed the healthy patches, but there was entirely too much bare space already on Castiel’s wings. “He knows everything I knew before talking to you, and he’s okay with this.”

“That’s good to know. Not that there was anything he could do about it if he disapproved, but I am glad to know that this won’t make things awkward or difficult in the future.” Castiel looked over at the pile of feathers. “What are you going to do with those?”

“Hadn’t really thought that far ahead, why?” Sam asked.

“Angel feathers are highly valued as a spell component, even broken or dead,” Castiel said. “You and Dean could probably make a great deal of money selling those. The two of you never need to worry about needing one, obviously.”

“Kinda feels wrong to profit off your suffering, Cas,” Sam said, dropping a few more feathers on the pile. “Do your wings feel any better?”

“It’s hard to say,” Cas admitted. “The way you’re touching me, I can’t really feel anything else right now. There’s a reason no one else is permitted to touch my wings now.”

“Oh.” Sam had absolutely no idea what to do with that information. “Cas, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You know that, right?”

“The same is true for you,” Cas said. “I have no intention of withholding anything from you, but I won’t demand anything of you. With Jimmy gone, I have no reservations about allowing you to do as you like with my vessel.”

“Sounds good to me,” Sam said with a soft smile. “So, I told you I contacted Rebecca… anyone else you’d want to get a message to?”

Cas closed his eyes for a second, although Sam couldn’t tell if that was a reaction to what he was doing to his wings or if the angel was thinking. “Rebecca will want to know I’m awake, but if the assault by Alastair was a setup by Raphael’s followers, it’s still not safe for me to call, until I can return to Heaven myself. She’ll keep my garrison updated. If you wouldn’t mind, though, let Rachel know it’s over and I’m recovering with help?”

“Sure, I can do that.” Sam considered for a bit before deciding that Rebecca could deal with his failure to take a properly respectful pose. “Holy Rebecca, hear my prayer. Your soldier Castiel is awake, and I’m taking care of him as well as I can. Thank you for sending Ephraim. He was very helpful.” He looked over to Castiel, who shook his head. “I promise that my brother and I will look after your soldier until he can return. Amen.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever been that formal when praying to me,” Castiel said.

Sam laughed softly. “Should I be?”

“Assuming you’ll allow me, I have every intention of reducing you to incoherency while you cry out to me at some point,” Cas said. “I see no reason you should worry about formality in praying to me.”

It came from an angel of the Lord. That was the only excuse Sam could think of for why it took him so long to understand what Castiel meant, and why he suddenly forgot how to breathe when he did work it out. “Quit that, I can’t pray to Rachel if I’m thinking about… that,” he said.

“Rachel would find it amusing, I suspect,” Cas said. “But as you wish.”

Sam promised himself that he would get revenge on Cas for this, but in the meantime, he had a prayer to offer. “Rachel, hear my prayer. Castiel asked me to let you know that he’s finished with his mission, and that he’s going to be spending some time on Earth to heal his wings. He’s being cared for, and…” Sam cut off his prayer quickly at the sound of fluttering wings. A blonde woman stood there, and Sam found himself having to hold Cas down to prevent the angel from getting between him and the woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's going up early because Snowmageddon is starting. I hope to be around to update tomorrow and Monday, but with no guarantees of power or internet being stable, I figured I should go ahead and post this now.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel shows up with some information and Dean finds out about things.

“Castiel, I’m not going to do anything to your precious Sam. Chill,” the woman said. Sam felt Cas relax under his arms. “Sam, hello, it’s good to meet you. I’m Rachel. I figured that if you were praying to me, I probably wasn’t going to be interrupting something if I dropped in, but if I am…”

“I don’t mind you being here for this if Sam has no objection,” Castiel said. “As you can see, things have changed a bit since I last saw you.”

“Why would I object? They’re your wings,” Sam said.

Cas sighed as Rachel giggled. “An angel’s wings are incredibly private,” Rachel explained. “Since you two are bonded, you get to decide who he’s allowed to let see them. Please tell me someone’s explained to you that you’re the only one who gets to touch them?”

“Yeah, I got that part, but…”

“Have fun with him, Castiel,” Rachel said. “Anyway, I dropped by to let you know what I’ve learned about your attack. I talked to Elijah. He gave you the order in good faith; he hasn’t taken a side in the rift yet, he’s just following whatever orders he’s given. This order came from Bartholomew.”

“So they likely knew Alastair was close,” Castiel said. To Sam, he added, “Bartholomew is Zachariah’s superior.”

“Fan of the ninja turtle?” Sam asked.

“I like him, Castiel. But Sam, you know Michelangelo literally means ‘Michael the angel’, right? They’re both ninja turtles,” Rachel said, amused. “Rebecca is furious, but she can’t do anything to Bartholomew and won’t do anything to Elijah. Zachariah and Uriel have been told to mind themselves – apparently Uriel interfered with one of the Winchesters a while back?”

“Sam,” Castiel said, tilting his head. “I didn’t report it, though.”

Rachel shrugged. “Then Uriel reported himself, or they learned of it through some unofficial means. They know, but since you didn’t report it, they can’t actually punish him.”

“Something I’m coming to regret,” Castiel said. “I wouldn’t be anywhere near this bad if Anael hadn’t had to banish me to save herself from Uriel.”

“Yeah. Just a warning… Raphael’s followers have declared Anael fair game, kill on sight. Michael, or at least the lieutenants leading his side of this fight, say to leave her alone unless she comes to us for something. But if she does… we’re supposed to capture her and bring her to Heaven to face judgment.”

Castiel sighed. “Message received. Anael’s on her own unless she repents.”

“Your garrison’s all right, with Uriel pretty much having declared his allegiance to Raphael Hester’s stepped up to lead in your absence. She’s…”

"What the hell’s going on out here?” Dean asked, gun trained on Rachel as he came out of his room. “Who are you?”

“Dean, put the gun down, she’s a friend of Cas’s,” Sam said, still working through Cas’s damaged feathers. “Rachel, my brother Dean.”

“Hi Dean!” Rachel said, striding over to offer a handshake. “All of Heaven’s heard a great deal about you, me more than most because of Castiel.”

“Cas has friends?” Dean asked somewhat blankly as he took Rachel’s hand. “Besides Junkless, I mean?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call Uriel a friend, not anymore,” Cas said. “But yes, a few. Rachel, some of my garrison, a few others.”

Rachel laughed. “I like this one, too.” She looked over her shoulder, and her breath caught. “Um, Castiel…”

“What?”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Castiel blinked, and then his eyes went wide as his wings went back to their space between planes. “Sam, I am so sorry. I don’t suppose blaming you for distracting me is a good enough reason for this transgression?”

“What trans… oh!” Sam ducked his head. “Cas, it’s probably inevitable that Dean’s gonna see them occasionally. Come to think of it… what happens in Heaven? Do you have to hide them there, too?”

“If you ask it of me. Some angels do, some angels don’t.”

“Huh? What…” Dean caught sight of the rather large pile of feathers beside the bed. “Sam, what the hell? Are you plucking Cas?”

Rachel burst into giggles as Sam wished he had about six more inches of hair to hide behind. “Um, I… guess I kinda am? Sure feels like it in some places, Cas, sorry.”

“I’m not surprised by how many feathers you’ve had to pull, Sam. That banishing felt like it was ripping my wings clean off, which would have made things…”

“Glad that didn’t happen. I, uh, at first I was leaving the broken ones, but when I started to realize how many dead or dying ones I was pulling, I figured may as well get it all over with now,” Sam admitted.

Castiel pulled himself back up to sitting on the bed. “I quite agree. That would explain why there was occasionally some pain.”

“Oh, now you can remember feeling things?” Sam teased.

“I think I understand your dream a little better,” Castiel said, turning a little red. This was too good an opportunity to pass up, so Sam prayed silently. _Castiel. So… you like it rough? Good._ Cas turned a much deeper red as he turned to stare at Sam in shock.

“You deserved that,” Sam informed his angel. “I grew up with Dean, I know how to get back at people who mess with me. Anyway, I don’t know enough about Heaven to know what to tell you there, so I’ll trust your judgment up there. Here on Earth, like I said, it’s pretty much inevitable that Dean’s gonna see things, but no one else gets to. Unless it’s something like earlier where I’m trying to get them healed, finally, but people keep insisting on coming in.”

“Is that permission to bring them back?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, I’m still working on that right wing.” Cas lay back down, letting his wings shimmer back into existence.

Rachel looked at the feather pile. “You know, you could make a pretty decent pillow out of that.”

Sam blinked. “A… pillow?”

Cas looked up at Rachel. “Do you have any idea if that would affect the dreams of whoever used the pillow?”

“Nope. Never known an angel to lose enough feathers all at once to be worth making a pillow out of. Just thinking out loud.” Rachel got a look of amused resignation on her face. “And now you’re thinking about it and you’ll want to actually test it to see what happens.”

Sam brushed his fingers through a patch of healthy feathers, causing Cas to shiver a little. “If it doesn’t work, it’s still a pillow, or we can rip it open and do something else with the feathers later.”

“Oh. Now I see why it was Sam instead of Dean,” Rachel said. “You found a human who’s actually willing to indulge your curiosity.”

“Actually, I’m fairly certain it was Sam because he’s the one I broke the rules for,” Cas said. “Sam sharing my curiosity about everything is merely a happy coincidence.”

“Oh, shit. Speaking of breaking the rules… Castiel, is it okay if I talk to your humans?”

“You’ve been… oh. I see. I’m right here, if I objected to anything you’ve done I could yell at you right away.”

Rachel smirked. “Yeah, well, word around the office is that you went a little psycho last time an angel talked to your man without your permission.”

“Uriel ruined a test and threatened to smite Sam. Anyone would have been a bit wrathful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know the chapter ending's a little awkward, but there wasn't really a good place to cut this one!


	15. Time to Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby returns with a warning.

There was a knock at the door. Cas once again snapped his wings out of view as Dean moved to the door. “Oh. Hi Ruby,” he said with approximately the same enthusiasm he had for eating salad.

“Her you are definitely not allowed to pull your wings out for,” Sam whispered to Cas. Cas stared at him for a minute. “Ruby? What’s up?”

“Alastair knows you’re here,” Ruby said. “It’ll take him a couple days to find a way around your warding, but you might wanna get elsewhere soonish.

Dean had his phone out before she’d finished the sentence. “Bobby, you up for visitors? Yes, by visitors I mean Winchesters. And a… oh, I’ll just let Sam explain this one to you when we get there. We’re bringing someone with us, someone we need to protect.” Dean hung up. “Bobby says show up whenever we can get there. He’s looking forward to that explanation.”

“I’ll bet he is,” Sam said, squeezing his eyes closed. “Ruby, is Alastair tracking us at all? Will he know when we leave here?”

“I’ll do a spell, let you cover your tracks. It’ll only last a day, though.” Ruby started setting up.

Dean dialed his phone again. “Anna, hey, Alastair found the cabin. We’re moving somewhere else, hopefully we’ll be able to hide ourselves pretty well, so if you need us call.”

Sam held out his hand for the phone. “Hey, Anna. A couple things. You gotta watch out for angels… Raphael’s told his people to kill you, Michael’s followers have been told to capture you if you approach them for anything. And Cas is awake and doing much better.”

“Thanks for the warning," Anna said. "I was already avoiding angels, but now I’ll take some extra steps to cover my tracks. Good to hear about Cas. Were you able to convince him to let you…?”

“Yeah, we worked it out. Thanks for bringing him to us, Anna.” He handed the phone back to Dean and looked at the angels’ expressions. “What? Anna did me a huge favor, just thought I’d return it.”

Cas just shook his head. “He’s not bound to either of them by nature or choice, and Anna is his friend. There’s no reason he shouldn’t have passed on the warning. There are going to be some definite advantages in having a human or two who might be willing to do things that I can’t.”

“Yeah, you’ve got a point, there,” Rachel admitted. “Okay, given that feather pile, I’m guessing that even if you could fly yourself to this place, you couldn’t take your boys. If you’ll permit it, I’m here anyway.”

Castiel nodded. “I’ll permit it, but Dean is rather… averse to flight. He much prefers his car, despite the slowness of it.”

“Cas, there’s no way you’d be able to deal with the car ride,” Dean said. “Rachel, can you take the car too?”

“The car, the demon, whatever you need,” Rachel promised. “Be easiest if you’ll get whatever you’re taking with you in the car, so I’m not guessing.”

“You do that while I do the spell,” Ruby said. “Even an angel’s flight can be tracked if you know to look for it, but if I can cover it Alastair probably wouldn’t think of Castiel calling a friend to fly you.”

“Sounds good.” Sam got up and quickly swept the feather pile into a pillowcase, while Dean threw stuff into their duffels. The two of them loaded the car, and Rachel zapped the five of them off to South Dakota.


	16. Bobby's House

Bobby met the Winchesters at the door. They’d gotten here really fast, and there were three people with them instead of just the one. Bobby assumed the one they needed to protect was the one leaning hard on Sam. “Dean said you’d explain when you got here. What’s goin’ on?”

Sam glared at Dean, who just smirked in reply. “Yeah, I’ll explain everything, I promise. But Cas is badly wounded, can we take this to the living room so I can get him settled a bit first?”

“Sure.” Bobby stared hard when he finally recognized Ruby. “What’s she doin’ here?”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “Making sure these two don’t get captured by a really powerful demon. But I know when I’m not wanted, so I’ll head on out now.”

“Thanks, Ruby,” Sam said as he helped the man he was holding up to a couch. The man looked familiar, but Bobby couldn’t quite place him. “Bobby, do you remember Castiel? You were with Dean when he did the summoning.”

“The angel?” Bobby looked hard at the man, and sure enough, he recognized him now. “No offense, but what the hell are we supposed to do against something that can do that to an angel?”

“Run,” Sam said. “Ruby covered our tracks. We should be safe here for a few days anyway; Ruby’ll let us know if Alastair’s sniffing around so we can run somewhere else before he gets too close. After a few days Cas should be recovered enough for us to go back to normal. I think?” He sat beside Castiel, pulling the angel’s head into his lap and starting to rub his back gently.

“I’m not certain.” Castiel reached out, picking up a pillow and staring at it.

“Anyway, this is Rachel, she’s a friend of Castiel’s, she flew us here since Cas couldn’t,” Sam continued. “Which, thank you, Rachel.” Rachel nodded, acknowledging the thanks before flying off. “A few days ago, Cas was attacked by Alastair, and then Heaven kept him too busy to heal. Situation’s over, Cas has gotten the major part of the treatment he needed, now Dean and I just have to keep him from rushing back into action.” Sam looked down at the angel. “Anna said to make you eat. You gonna give me trouble?”

“Probably,” Castiel said. “Anna’s right, though. I’ll heal faster. I doubt you’ll have trouble convincing me to sleep, at least.”

“The hell’s goin’ on here?” Bobby asked, looking between Sam and Castiel. “Angel Boy said he was here to guide Dean through preventing the Apocalypse, why’s it you he’s gonna give trouble about eating?”

Sam took a deep breath, very determinedly looking away from everyone. “Cas is my guardian, too. Which had consequences he wasn’t expecting.”

“If anyone needs an angel watchin’ out for them it’s the two of you,” Bobby said. “Consequences?”

“Yeah, uh… angels have this thing, I’m still not sure I really understand it properly, but when Cas marked me, he ended up bonded to me. It’s, um, it’s like… basically by the laws of Heaven, Cas and I are married.” The words tumbled out in a rush.

Bobby wasn’t sure he’d heard right, between Sam’s rushing and the fact that what he said didn’t make much sense. “Married. To an angel. Because he’s bonded to you?”

“Well, not exactly, I wasn’t bonded to him so it wasn’t exactly a proper marriage then,” Sam said, looking somewhat embarrassed. “A few days later he showed up wounded, and we have no idea how since I’m not an angel and shouldn’t have been able to do it, but I bonded to him that night. Cas hadn’t told me about this, he figured it was bad enough he didn’t get a choice, he didn’t wanna do that to me. I don’t know how he missed that I was bonded, every other angel it seemed like they took one look and knew right away, but he didn’t know until tonight.”

“What the hell.” Bobby was having trouble getting his mind around this.

Sam grinned. “I was not expecting this, ever, but I’m not complaining. Anyway, since Cas can’t get to Heaven just yet, I let his superior know what happened and she sent a healer to teach me what to do to heal him. Since I’m his bondmate I’m the only one who can.”

Castiel turned his head to look up at Sam. “Did you manage to finish before Ruby arrived?”

“Yeah, not by much, but there was a short time when I was done where I was just playing with your wing because I could,” Sam admitted, and was he a bit pinker than usual?

“Good.” Castiel held up the pillow. “Rachel’s enabling our curiosity.”

Sam touched the pillow and burst into laughter. “This should be interesting, although how do we test it?”

“What’s special about the pillow?” Bobby asked.

“It’s made with angel feathers,” Sam said. “Specifically Cas’s. Sleeping under an angel’s wings messes with your dreams, so we were wondering if sleeping on a pillow like this would too.”

“This isn’t even all of them,” Castiel added, pointing toward a pillowcase Dean was carrying. “The ones that were too big or broken in odd ways are still in there. You really should sell them; you have no need to worry about needing one.”

Bobby stared at the pillowcase. “Angel feathers? Those are really valuable, Sam. You and Dean could probably live for a year off what you got in there, not counting your pillow.”

“What if we do end up needing one?” Dean asked.

Sam stared at his brother. “Uh, Dean, I’m kinda married to an angel? If we need a feather, I’m pretty sure I can get us one.”

“How many times have you or your brother bled for a spell? Donating a feather is not a problem.”

“Fair enough, I suppose,” Dean said. “What do you feed an angel anyway?”

Sam looked to Cas, and Castiel shook his head. “I have no idea. Gabriel used to go on about honey and berries, but that was a long time ago and I suspect food has changed since then. I doubt I’ll care much what I eat, so whatever is convenient for the two of you and your host should be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay!
> 
> Just a warning: school starts back Tuesday, so I have to report back on Monday for paperwork. Updates shouldn't be affected TOO much, I hope, but if they are, that's why.


	17. Disappearance

For three days, there was nothing. No word from anyone, no signs of attacks, nothing to do but wait and rest and try to make Cas heal.

On the fourth day, Sam’s phone and Dean’s rang within seconds of each other. Sam took his phone outside when he saw the caller ID. “Ruby? Alastair found us again?”

“Not that I know of,” Ruby said. “But I have no idea what’s going on with Alastair. I picked him up when I left Bobby’s, but then he just… disappeared. For three days, there’s been _nothing_. No Alastair, no signs of Lilith, no unusual demonic activity at all.”

“Huh,” Sam said. “You sure about this?”

“Sam. This whole time, everything I’ve done has been getting you to kill Lilith. Why on Earth would I be lying to you about her and her minions just… vanishing?” Ruby said, and Sam could practically hear the eyeroll.

“Because you’re a demon. Lying kinda goes with the territory.”

“Look, I have no idea what’s going on, but the demons are… well, they’re not gone, obviously, or I wouldn’t be here to talk to you. But they’re at their lowest activity levels since Azazel and Jake opened that Devil’s Gate, and none of the big players are topside anywhere I can find. There’s something screwy going on.”

“Huh. Well, keep digging, see if you can figure out something?” Sam said.

“Yeah… I can’t believe Lilith would just leave, you know? She lost one of her big gambits, but she’s Lilith, she’s gotta have a million more ready to go for if it failed,” Ruby said.

“Huh? What’d she lose?” Sam asked.

“You. She figured when enough seals broke, you’d see reason and be willing to strike a deal with her. There’s no chance she’ll be able to turn you now, and she’d planned on having you on hand so that when Lucifer rose she could have a vessel all ready for him,” Ruby said.

“Wait, what? A vessel?”

“A host? A human that lets us demons and the angels interact with you guys? Lucifer’s gonna need one, and because you grew up with demon blood in you, you’re a really good one for him,” Ruby said. “All of Azazel’s other special kids are dead, so I don’t know what Lilith’s backup was, but she had to have one…”

“You know a lot about Lilith’s plans,” Sam said.

“I had to if I was gonna be able to help you stop them!” Ruby said. “Look, I’ve told you what I called to tell you, believe me or don’t, I really don’t care anymore. Maybe Anna’s having better luck with Dean. Bye.”

Ruby hung up just as Dean came out. “Hey, Sammy… that was Anna. She said that for the first day or so she had as much as she could handle keeping the demons away from the Novaks, but for the last three days… nothing. So she kept an eye on them just in case but started looking for Alastair, but couldn’t find anything there, either. Ruby have anything?”

“No, she said… how’d you know it was Ruby?” Sam asked.

“Anna,” Dean said. “Said Ruby was going to call you and give you her report.”

“Huh. Ruby and Anna are talking to each other?”

“Apparently.”

“Ruby said there’s no sign of Alastair, Lilith, or much of any organized demonic activity,” Sam said. “What the hell’s going on?”

“No idea. Ask Cas?”

“Ask me what?” Both Winchesters turned as Castiel came out. He was considerably stronger now, and to everyone but Sam, appeared to be pretty much healed.

“Apparently the demons packed up and went home, at least for a while,” Sam said. “Any idea why they’d do that?”

Castiel shook his head. “There are still many seals remaining. I can’t think why they would give up now.”

“Can’t you, little brother? Thought that’s why you did it,” a voice said.


	18. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is given some information that was withheld from him and figures out why the demons gave up on the Apocalypse.

Sam turned around, and then a fist was flying before he could fully process what was happening. Cas caught his arm when he went for the second shot. “Sam! What are you doing?”

“Dean? That stake handy?” Sam growled, shaking Cas’s hand off. “I really want to kill him this time.”

“Sam!” Cas got in between the two. “Sam, even if you _could_ kill him, I’m not going to let you. Why do you even want to?”

“Probably because I killed Dean somewhere around a hundred and fifty times, I lost count somewhere around sixty,” the Trickster said. “Good to see you’re doing better after the one that wasn’t me, Dean.”

“Why?” Castiel said, turning away from Sam. “I would have thought you and Dean would be good friends, and I have heard the rumors around Heaven that you’ve gotten fond of the Winchesters…”

“Why’s Heaven talking about a Trickster?” Dean asked.

“They’re not,” the Trickster said. “My best trick ever: I’m not actually a trickster. My name’s Gabriel. I’m an archangel. And I was trying to get Sam to a point where he knew how to live without Dean so that demon wouldn’t be able to get him to let big bro free of his cage. Your way worked better, if I’d known it was you they’d pick for the job I probably wouldn’t have worried.”

“Huh?” Sam asked, looking to Cas.

Cas shook his head. “I don’t know, Sam. Gabriel, what are you talking about?”

Gabriel shook his head. “Castiel, use your head. You know the plan, right? What was supposed to happen?”

“They didn’t tell me much,” Cas said. “We needed Dean to stop Lilith from breaking the seals, Sam was… well, they lied to me about Sam. They tell me when something’s about to happen that we can stop.”

Gabriel burst into laughter. “So you have no idea who the Winchesters are? And here I was worried that with me and Lucifer both gone Heaven was going to lose any sense of humor at all.”

“I know who the Winchesters are,” Cas said. “Dean is the Righteous Man who will lead the forces of Heaven in stopping the Apocalypse, and Sam is… not who Heaven thinks he is.”

“Sorry, Castiel, but he was until you made me proud,” Gabriel said. “Come on. Look at them. Dean: big brother, Dad’s perfect little soldier, reluctant champion because he’s too damn stubborn to walk away from people in need. Sam: little brother, Daddy’s favorite despite his insistence on doing his own thing and thinking for himself. Inseparable, completely devoted to each other beyond logic or reason. Hell, their dad even told big brother that if he couldn’t figure out any other way to deal with little brother he’d have to kill him!”

Castiel stared at Gabriel. “This is a trick. That’s Loki talking.”

“Loki?” Sam said.

“Yeah, how I got into the Trickster business, I spent a lot of time hanging out with Odin and got adopted as one of the Norse gods,” Gabriel explained. “That’s not Loki talking, Castiel. It’s the truth. Surprised they didn’t tell you, given what your job probably was…”

Castiel reached out and took Sam’s hand. “They didn’t tell me before because I would have killed Sam before retrieving Dean, which would have defeated the point, and once I was bonded it wouldn’t have mattered what I knew.”

“Cas? Mind catching the humans up?” Dean said. “What would they have told you that would have you killin’ Sam knowing I went to Hell in the first place because someone killed Sam?”

“Archangels are limited in the vessels they can take,” Cas said. “There are true vessels for each archangel, and they would burn through any other vessel within weeks. Lucifer and Michael would want their true vessels for the Apocalypse…”

“And that’s the two of you,” Gabriel said. “Dean, you’re Michael’s meatsuit.”

“Leaving me to be Lucifer’s,” Sam said. “That figures.”

“But now, Lucifer can’t take you, even if he somehow managed to convince you to say yes,” Castiel said. “Which means Lilith and the rest of Hell aren’t going to try to free him.”

“Why can’t…” Sam’s face lit up with a huge grin. “Because I’m yours now.”

“Exactly. It won’t stop an angel from taking possession of you if they’re truly determined, or if they get my permission as well, but it would serve to weaken Lucifer enough that he would have no chance against Michael,” Castiel explained.

“It’s over, then,” Dean said. “No more Apocalypse, no more seals, no more Lilith or Alastair or angels.”

“For now,” Gabriel said. “Eventually, things will align again for the Apocalypse, and Castiel’s an extremely rare breed among angels so whoever they send to deal with things next time probably won’t save the day, but the two of you will be long since dead by then. And not no more angels, there's no way you're getting rid of Castiel now and I haven't been to Heaven for over two thousand years, so the two of us are gonna be around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so between school and weather, I kinda got my ass kicked this past week. I'm so sorry.


	19. The Road Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel checks in with Heaven and discusses the future with Sam and Dean.

Sam couldn’t stop pacing. Castiel had sworn he was well enough to get to Heaven and back, and that he was coming straight back as soon as he’d talked to Rachel and figured out what fallout there would be from the Apocalypse that wasn’t. He wouldn’t be gone more than an hour or two, he was sure.

That was six hours ago.

When Cas did get back, he looked rough. “Where’s Dean?” Cas asked.

“Asleep, I think,” Sam said. “Cas, what the hell happened? Are you…?”

Cas shook his head. “Come on. We need to wake Dean. He needs to hear this as soon as possible, and I would prefer to only have to go through it once.”

“Are you…”

“I’m fine, Sam,” Cas said, stopping and placing a hand on Sam’s cheek. “A little exhausted, I’m going to sleep if I can, but I promise you that I am fine.”

“Cas…”

“Sam. I mean it. Physically, I just need to sleep.” Cas sighed. “Mentally, it’s a lot more complicated, but I really only want to have to explain this once, and Dean needs to hear it. I know that’s not very reassuring, and I’m sorry.”

Sam gave in, letting Cas keep his quiet until he’d woken Dean and gotten him and Bobby gathered in the living room around a round of whiskey. “All right. We’re all here…”

“Now we are,” Anna corrected as she arrived, Gabriel and Ruby with her. “What’s going on, Cas?”

“Hang on, what’s she doing here?” Dean said, pointing at Ruby.

“She and I have been working together. Cas wants me in on this, you’ll just have to deal with Ruby being in too,” Anna snapped.

“If we could just… deal with it? No matter what her real agenda is, it won’t matter if she hears this, and Anna needs to,” Cas said. Dean started to argue, but Sam elbowed him, and Dean settled back with a glare. “The Apocalypse is truly off. Lilith is back in Hell, the angels who were for the Apocalypse don’t have the balls to break the seals themselves contrary to God’s word.”

“What a surprise,” Gabriel said.

“Hush.” Cas glared at Gabriel for a minute. “Two days ago, Thaddeus attempted to kill Michael.”

Gabriel burst into laughter. “Thaddeus? Little bastard always was slimy. Why didn’t Michael just let him go through with it and then have him stuck in his own jail?”

“Because one, it wasn’t Michael who stopped it, it was Naomi, and two, it would have worked. Thaddeus had Raphael’s blade only inches from a killing strike,” Castiel said.

Gabriel sobered up immediately and exchanged a shocked look with Anna. “How’d Taddy get Raph’s blade?” he asked.

“He didn’t have time to say before Naomi killed him and Raphael hasn’t chosen to enlighten anyone,” Cas said. “As you might imagine, Heaven has exploded. Angels began declaring for one side or the other almost immediately. Rebecca declared for Michael, of course, and all of my garrison has joined her – except me.”

“Why not you?” Sam asked, wrapping an arm around Cas. “Michael’s been a pretty good guy through all this, and you were on his side before…”

“I was going to, as soon as Rebecca explained everything to me, but when I went to inform Michael, he told me not to,” Cas said. “As long as I remain officially neutral, you and Dean are off-limits. If I declare, though, that makes you fair game, Sam. And I’m fairly certain every angel in Heaven or out of it knows that if they come after you, Dean will try to save you, which would make him fair game as well.” Cas held out a blade each to Sam and Dean. “I’ll be around to protect you most of the time, but if I try to be there every single second we’d all go crazy. Unless Raphael himself comes after you, these should be sufficient to give you a chance to protect yourself long enough to call me.”

“And if Raph shows, you might have a chance at calling me, with those,” Gabriel said. “Guys, I know you both hate me for what I did to you as the Trickster, but if Raph shows Cas can’t save you. I can. And I will. I’m staying out of the war because I don’t want to fight either of my brothers, but Cas, if you can get a message to Heaven for me – Earth is off-limits. Gabriel’s back, and he’s declaring Earth neutral ground. Any angel who shows up here will answer to me.”

“Or me,” Anna said. “Gabriel’s the only faction who doesn’t want me in Heaven’s jail, so I’m declaring for him.”

Cas nodded. “Sam, will you let Rebecca and… and I suppose you might as well try Raphael directly, I don’t know which of his lieutenants would actually listen to a prayer from you… know? I’ll go back to Heaven tomorrow or the next day and spread the word, but right now, I need to rest.”

“Thanks for the heads up, Cas,” Gabriel said. “Come on, Anna, let’s let Cas be.” The two angels and Ruby took off.

“I’m goin’ back to bed,” Bobby said. “Civil war in Heaven. Now I’ve heard everything.”

Dean left to go back to sleep as well, leaving Sam and Cas alone. Cas immediately pulled out his wings, and Sam gave them a quick examination. “See? I’m fine, just tired, it’s hard to fly with mostly down,” Cas said.

“I can imagine,” Sam said, wrapping his arms around Cas. “I’m just worried. I love you.”

“I love you too. I don’t think the war in Heaven will affect Earth much, not with Gabriel coming out of hiding to protect the planet and me in particular protecting you and Dean. What are you and Dean going to do now?” Cas asked.

“Not entirely sure… Azazel’s gone, world’s not ending, neither of us is under a death sentence, there’s no reason we can’t get out and settle down if we want to,” Sam said. “We’ve talked a little bit about it, just retiring and being normal people, but for all I used to swear that’s what I wanted more than anything… I’m not sure I can. And Dean, he’s been saying for a couple years now that he’s tired and he wants to quit, but now that it’s actually an option? I dunno. I’m going to insist on at least taking a vacation, go lay on a beach in Mexico or something for the next month while we actually think about retiring, but I wouldn’t be surprised if in the end we’re back in the Impala, on the road together, saving people, hunting things. It’s the family business. What do you wanna do?”

“I’ll be doing what I can to help resolve the war in Heaven, obviously, but my main concern is you and Dean. If you go normal, I’ll try to figure out how to fit in to that life with you, if you hunt, then I’ll be around to patch you up and help smite demons. No matter what, I’ll be with you.” Cas yawned and laid his head on Sam’s chest. “For the immediate future, though, I think a bed would be nice.”

"That should be easy enough to manage," Sam said, leading his angel up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's where it ends!
> 
> I have no immediate plans to write a sequel, but that could easily change. In the meantime, thank you so much to everyone who read this and left kudos and comments! Better than Christmas cookies, those are. <3

**Author's Note:**

> So I read this myth that if you leave comments on fanfics, an angel will come sit with you and keep you from having nightmares. Help me test it out!


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